Peeps Are Not Tasty Treats, They Are Giant Marshmallow Blobs Of Disgust
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Peeps Are Not Tasty Treats, They Are Giant Marshmallow Blobs Of Disgust

They're just glorified marshmallows

2003
Peeps Are Not Tasty Treats, They Are Giant Marshmallow Blobs Of Disgust
Vox

With Easter having just passed and all of the egg hunts and candy on kids minds, it’s hard to miss everything that commercializes Easter, including Peeps. Peeps are typically associated with Easter because of their bright colors, fluffy texture and shape. They're usually marshmallow chicks or bunnies covered in spring-themed sugar coatings. Although, if you were to ask me, they’re still an annual tragedy.

Maybe this is because I’m not really a huge fan of marshmallows. I liked them when I was younger, but I was never a fan of eating raw marshmallows simply for the “sugar rush," or the sweet-chewy, somewhat fluffy texture and deliciousness that came from eating them. To me, marshmallows were either for toasting (or in my case, burning) over campfires, blowing up in the microwave or even for some people, shooting at other people.

All in all, it could be the fact that my third grade teacher used peeps to keep a lamp together. (I know what you’re thinking, “ew." My thoughts exactly.) So really when I see Peeps, I still picture her tearing one apart to squish it onto part of a lamp. And even over time, watching that current Peep harden and disintegrate over a metal lamp disgusts me. It’s made me more than somewhat question what exactly goes into them to make them last a long time, why we would eat them, and how they even are a thing people eat.

But think about it: in essence, they're glorified marshmallows. They’re literally covered in colored sugar and made with corn syrup, gelatin and too much sugar. This is not to say that I don’t enjoy and/or eat my fair share of Easter candy around the season. Though, I tend to opt for something usually consisting of chocolate or less of a fluffy texture. Even then, this glorified marshmallow is made into the shapes of a bunny or traditionally a chick. And about a quarter of the time some of these chicks end up massacred into almost blob-chicks with barely recognizable faces.

So really what I’m trying to say is that: marshmallows are gross. I’m not entirely sure why I think this. Maybe I ate too many raw marshmallows when I was younger. But now, I’m not a fan of marshmallows in general, unless it’s burned to a crisp and smushed between chocolate and graham crackers. And hey, maybe this is just me, so I do apologize to those of you who enjoy eating the rainbow-colored blobs of chewy fluff. Go enjoy your sugar-coated, white, chewy almost shape of a chick or bunny.

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