I am not my parents. They assumed that I would follow in their footsteps when it came to growing up. They told me that they did the exact same thing and that I shouldn’t do it.

Why can’t I grow and make my own mistakes? Why won’t you let me become who I want to be?

I am not my grades. Don’t force and push me to strive for greatness that no human cannot reach. Congratulate me on my success and talk to me when I fail. Don’t threaten my fragile mind with your hurtful words and my body with mother nature’s creation. You push me to be great and yes, I understand. I want to be great. I want success.

I also want happiness. I want to not make my life about how well I do in school and more about what I’m going to do with what I’ve learned.

I am not my friends. Yes, they are branches of me. My personality has different shapes and forms that either I cannot bring out, or it connects with those who are similar to me. Just because they did X does not mean I’m going to square it.

I am not what you want me to be. I am who I choose to become on this journey. I hope and pray that I age into my 90’s so that I can share stories with my children and their children and so on. I want to take what lemons I have been given and make apple juice. Why do you want me to conform to what you think I should be instead of what makes me happy?

I may want success but I want it to give me financial stability so that mental and emotional stability can follow as well. They say money don’t buy happiness, well I want the chance to find out.

Even though you’re gone. I’ve learned that you weren’t perfect and yet you tried to perfect me. That was wrong of you and I wish I could have told you that. Even if I were to get the chance, that would be considered back talk and a smack to the mouth.

Why did you place me on this pedestal that I never asked to be on? I’m still trying to climb down and I don’t think I can see the ground yet. Not even a speck. Yet others tell me how proud yall would be. How happy y'all would be to see me where I am at. Speculation built on half-truths because I only let out what doesn’t create a multiple question test.

They assume y'all would be happy. They assume that I’m happy and that there’s nothing wrong with me. That I’m just this bubbly person 25/8 and that’s not the case. I can’t give answers that will result in responses that only adds depth to the closest in which I hide myself in.

They assume because of my age that I don’t really have anything to worry about. That I shouldn’t feel the way that I do because I haven’t done this, that, and the third.

I am not what you assume I should be and you are not to cage my emotions and my trials into a box because you believe that my mind should think a certain way and it doesn’t.

Let me speak without the fear of knowing you’ll shove me in a box I never asked to be in.