Sure, I'm On The Path To Decency, But Don't Expect Me To Be Perfect Anytime Soon

Sure, I'm On The Path To Decency, But Don't Expect Me To Be Perfect Anytime Soon

It takes two seconds to be nice, but for me its taken two decades
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This is probably the hardest thing I have ever written, so bear with me as I explain myself.

I know that in the hall at school or passing by, you see me smile and wave, and you do the same. What you don’t know is that sometimes it’s hard to even do that.

My whole life I’ve always tried to get people to like me. I’m a people pleaser. When I was a kid, I would wear clothes that my biological mom bought for me proudly because I thought she would one day let me pick out something for myself, or just like me. I let her push me around like a doll.

When I was in elementary school, I was mean. I wasn’t nice to certain girls because the popular girls weren’t. I lost one of my best friends in 4th grade because a certain girl didn’t like her. I wanted everyone to like me, but I made the wrong choice. I left elementary with bad memories and torn friendships that I haven’t spoken to them since then. I made a mistake when I was 9 and that kind of set me on a path until now. I traded the meanness for ignorance and chose not to care about anything. I didn't care if no one liked me because I wouldn't put forth an effort. That could’ve been the mistake that made my life. My then ignorance turned into lots of social anxiety.

As I have said in a previous article, I came from a strict society and from there, is where I began my path to decency. I got dragged back down in high school by making the wrong friends at first, getting involved in the petty drama that shouldn’t have even happened, and not caring what happened after.

Being nice to everyone can be hard when you started out mean. The influence you have growing up establishs everything. I had a very negative birth mother, I was born into the depression I have now and I am still working hard to get a balance.

And you must think, “Mari, it takes two seconds to be nice to someone and make their day…” I’m aware of this fact, and I do take more than two seconds to make someone’s day now, but it’s more about the friendships.

I have a hard time making friends now because I don't know how to be a friend. This isn't a pity party sentence, but don't make the same mistake I did. The only reason I have my boyfriend is that I refused to let myself give up on him, and I'm still fighting my nonchalant attitude that I've grown to adapt my whole life.

Everyone has flaws and mistakes they’ve made, and this is mine. If I could go back and redo all of it, I would. I want to be a nice person that everyone knows, but I’m still struggling with it. I’m kind, but I don’t show it. I care but I say I don’t. It’s tricky, but patience is something that is needed with me.

It’s work that gets exhausting at time, but I still push.

Cover Image Credit: Personal Photo

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I'm Not 'Spoiled,' I Just Won't Apologize For Having Great Parents

Having supportive parents is one of the best things that ever happened to me.

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When I tell people that I am the baby of my family, there is always a follow-up question asking if I am spoiled. As I was a child, perhaps the situation was a little different because I did not receive material things but instead got my way or rarely was punished. I was most likely spoiled rotten in that sense, especially by my grandparents. Fast forward to the age of 19 and I can say that my parents give me everything that I need, not necessarily everything that I want.

But I still don't think I'm spoiled.

I might legally be an adult, but my parents still provide for me. I may live at school during the semester, but my parents don't charge me rent or utilities when I am at home. My mom still does my laundry. They pay my phone bill monthly. When my mom goes grocery shopping, she doesn't have me chip in to help. She will make sure the bathroom is stocked with tampons or shampoo so I don't have to worry about it. The both of them make sure I have the sufficient needs to not be hungry, cold, or without shelter.

They do all of these things because they want what is best for me.

While they pay my student loans, I give them money to cover it as well as a little extra each month for different expenses. If we go out to eat, I do offer to pay but often get shut down and end up leaving the tip instead. I help around the house and sometimes make trips to the store for food or cleaning supplies, not asking for money to be paid back.

I have a job that gives me decent hours, but my parents understand that money for a college kid is tough.

I pay for my own luxuries such as makeup, cute clothes, even to get my hair cut. Spoiled is typically defined as "damaged by having been given everything they want." Do I want another dog? Yes. Do I have one? No. Do I want a swimming pool in my backyard? Yes. Do I have one? Again, no. That is because both my mother and father still believe in working for what you want and even their daughter doesn't get a free pass unless it's her birthday or Christmas. Do I still have everything I could ever need? Yes.

My parents do the exact same thing for my brother and sister who are older than I am.

I know if I have a problem, whether it be financial or crucial, I can turn to them for help. A lot of people my age don't have parents like I do and I am extremely grateful for them and everything that they do. Thanks, Mom and Dad.

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Summer And Jobs

Working summers doesn't have to be tedious.

Aasayed
Aasayed
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Like many other college students, I was ready for summer but was kinda bummed that I had to work. Its not that I didn't like where I was working, I actually was really lucky to be working in a hospital environment but I just hated being alone all summer from 9-5. I've had this job for a few years now and a few other paid interns came and went but I never really connected with any of them. This year is different though.

I got really lucky to have another intern work with me that was very similar to me. The tasks we got were always simple but they were made to be more fun because I got to do them while talking with someone else. Now I actually enjoy and look forward to going to work.

The key to finding a good job is finding one that you enjoy doing and one that will help you gain knowledge that will help you out with future career plans. Working with friends also make tasks enjoyable! I would be careful with working with your friend however because if your job needs you to be serious and focused, being around your best friends may distract you from that.

Another thing that definitely makes summer jobs more enjoyable are taking breaks! It is your summer vacation after all! I'm not saying don't take a day off just to sit around, but if you make plans with family and friends, take a Friday off and enjoy the warm weather and good company! Employers understand that us college students and on break and have lives, they are usually very lenient with days off!

If you have to do a summer job to make money to live off of or pay for college, the best thing to do is look at the big picture. If you don't enjoy your job but can't afford to quit, remember that the money if going to help you out a lot. Also, this job is probably only for the summer right? So it's not permanent my friend! Get through these annoying few weeks and you will be back at college, taking steps for a bigger and brighter future.

Summer jobs are tough, I know, but make the most of it! And don't forget to enjoy it whenever you can!!!

Aasayed
Aasayed

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