An Open Letter To My Past Self

An Open Letter To My Past Self

Some things I wish I knew years ago...

To my Past Self,

Hey kid! How are you? I hope you're understanding things in school well enough because it only gets harder as you go -- it's totally worth it all in the end though. (Or so I've been told.)

I'm not a life expert by any means, but I feel like some things need to be said here. First of all, don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. You'll stay in your comfort zone for years and years until one day you decide to just push your limits a little bit. Let me tell you that the best thing that I ever did is step out of my comfort zone; if something bad happens then it's a funny story that you can tell later.

Next up, you don't have to have your future figured out. At the end of high school and at the beginning of college you'll get the impression that you need to know what you're doing with your life. I must have changed my mind five thousand times about what I wanted to do with my life between my Junior year and now. Honestly, I still don't know what I plan on doing in the future, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. All that I know is that I'm in a major that I enjoy.

Also, don't be afraid to say no to people. If you don't want to socialize with people after a long week then crawl in a blanket nest and binge-watch a show on Netflix instead. You'll thank yourself later.

In addition, try not to sweat the small stuff. I need to practice what I preach here because I am and probably always will be an anxious mess, but I'm slowly starting to realize that some things aren't worth getting stressed out about. For example that one embarrassing thing that you said five years ago really doesn't matter to the people who heard it. Honestly they probably forgot that you even said it -- I get it though; sometimes you just start thinking, the embarrassing thing hits you and you want to crawl under a rock for a while. It's normal; shake off the embarrassment and move on.

Finally, people in your life will come and go. You'll still root for them from the sidelines though and just know that no matter what, if they were to call you will still answer. Just remember that the people you meet come in and out of your life for a reason, and that it's perfectly normal to let go of something that just isn't working anymore.

That's all of the sage wisdom that I can really pass on to you, past self. Just know that you can't always do everything and that sometimes you'll make mistakes. When mistakes happen, just pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and move on!


Future You

(P.S. That hairstyle you had in middle school? Not really feeling it. You'll get past that though.)

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A Poem To Art Saving Us

Art is what you need it to be.

“Youth is wasted on the young”, I know, and I am trying. So desperately to ensure that my odyssey is a chest of memories that will never diminish.

I find myself staring at the bottom of empty coffee mugs, caught between the backwash of coffee tainted oxygen molecules and morning delays. These cells are nothing but pixilated facades.

Nietzsche says that art does not need to be truth, but isn’t that what it is all about? Is that not what makes it so raw? Making the intangible, tangible? But the only thing true of art is that art saves us. And if that means that what art is made of is not truth; that art is the outcome of a survival mechanism to compose and convince ourselves to feel something so that we do not fall into the black hole of nihilism then so be it.

Because I won’t know any other way. All I know is that I am breathing and thinking and just being.

It is kind of ironic that we depend on each other’s defense mechanisms to live, to prove that our existence isn’t just some fucked evolutionary step. We are so desperate and so in need to find ourselves, to understand that we need to be here that we also begin to see ourselves in the art works. In the brush strokes of Van Gough; in the not so irregular and not so misplaced lines of Picasso’s works. This is both comforting and scary.

Some days it is hard to differentiate yourself from all the art that is surrounding you and I; sorting through all the pieces that are spread along the sunrises, book stores or through the numb vibrations of the rain. Art does not have to be true, but it does have to be a series of releases.

We spend our whole lives breathing in and attacking notes, but we always forget that we can breathe. That in our composition of life we can add our own breath marks. It is okay to release. To breathe in and to stop your tune when needed.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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The 7 Best Pieces of Drag Race Lingo Ru-vealed

Werk it, queen!

Season Three of "RuPaul's Drag Race: All Stars" just wrapped last week, but season 10 of Drag Race is scheduled to premiere on March 22nd. You might’ve turned on your TV and thought, “what the heck are they talking about?”. Some of the lingo is confusing and unclear, so here’s a guide to just some of the key catchphrases.

1. The library/Being read

The name of the mini challenge is “Reading is Fundamental, in which queens take turns reading each other. When it’s their turn, they “enter the library”, which just means putting on goofy glasses. Reading is pretty much pointing out flaws but in a funny or over the top way.

2. Shade

Throwing shade is similar to reading someone, but I think of shade as usually more blunt, insulting and less clever.

3. Tea

Derives from the letter “T” standing for truth. Tea refers to gossip, news or information. Commonly used in the sense of “So, what’s the tea?”, which means “girl, what’s the gossip?”. It’s commonly combined with shade, as someone might say “No, tea, no shade, but…” which is a preface saying “no disrespect”. Conversely, someone might say “all tea, all shade” meaning that they know exactly how they sound and don’t care if you’re offended.

4. Fish

A queen is said to be looking fishy/serving fish when they closely resemble a woman. Some of the fishiest queens include Tatianna, Courtney Act, and Farrah Moan.

5. Back Rolls

An insult used in season 5 when Jade Jolie told Alyssa Edwards: “Girl, you had rolls all over the place in the back, it was disgusting!” To which Alyssa responded

6. Snatch Game

A parody of the 1960’s celebrity game show “The Match Game”. On the original show, contestants write in answers to questions, hoping to match the guest judge. Snatch Game operates in the same way, but the contestants have to impersonate a celebrity. This is a challenge that has taken place every season since the second one, and it’s probably the most highly anticipated. This is one of the challenges that really establishes the top queens, as they’re judged based off of likeness and humor. Celebrities that have been impersonated range from Dame Maggie Smith to Britney Spears, Judge Judy, Anna Nicole Smith, and even RuPaul.

7. Comedy vs. Pageant Queens

This is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. Some queens are more specialized in makeup, costumes, and overall pageantry. Others are more campy and over the top. Comedy queens are usually stronger in acting or comedy challenges, but pageant queens have the upper hand in design focused challenges.

So there ya have it, a short list of Drag Race terminology. I RuPaulogize if you got a little lost somewhere, but if you managed to make it through this article….


Cover Image Credit: Daniel Dudek-Corrigan

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