Don't Ignore Mental Health Issues

Mental Health Issues Cannot Be Ignored – If You're A Parent, It's On You To Realize That

When you go to a doctor because your arm hurts or you are having trouble breathing, it is seen as normal.

Aasayed
Aasayed
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When you go to a doctor because your arm hurts or you are having trouble breathing, it is seen as normal. You have no problem telling your friends or colleagues that your arm is broken or that you have asthma. But what about when your brain hurts? What about when all you can think about is how no one cares about you or how you feel worthless or all the ways to kill yourself? Your brain is also a part of your body but why do parents hide it when they have to take their children to a therapist or psychologist? Why is it so shameful that you have to hide your mental health issues from your friends?

Teens and young adults find it so embarrassing to have a mental health issue that they hide it from even their parents! They put themselves into these miserable little worlds where negativity constantly swirls around them. They are too scared to ask for help! They feel like it makes them weak.

But that is so wrong! It takes guts to talk about your feelings. It takes courage to let people see what's inside your mind.

Another major issue present in the context of mental health is that parents, predominately those who have grown up in countries in which mental health is never taught, like Africa and India, don't see the dangers of depression and anxiety. They don't see what the big deal is when their child comes up to them, after spending days building the courage, to tell them that they feel sad and ugly. The parents tend to respond with "You're sad? Darling, don't be! And you're not ugly!" They weren't taught the right ways to deal with these sensitive issues.

When your child comes up to you and tells you they feel sad and ugly, you need to sit them down and have them talk to you. You NEED to explain to them that they are not weird or weak or broken. You need to ask them how long they have been feeling the way they are feeling right now. You need to get them the help they need.

Because if you don't...you may lose them.

As the new generation of young adults, it is our job to treat mental health issues with the same empathy and normality we would any physical illness. We must teach our parents as well as the new youth that mental health is very important and very real. And lastly, we must grow to be the parents who create environments for our children in which they are comfortable to talk about their feelings and emotions.

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To The Person Who Feels Suicidal But Doesn't Want To Die

Suicidal thoughts are not black and white.
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Everyone assumes that if you have suicidal thoughts that means you want to die.

Suicidal thoughts are thought of in such black-and-white terms. Either you have suicidal thoughts and you want to die, or you don't have suicidal thoughts and you want to live. What most people don't understand is there are some stuck in the gray area of those two statements, I for one am one of them.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a kid.

My first recollection of it was when I came home after school one day and got in trouble, and while I was just sitting in the dining room I kept thinking, “I wonder what it would be like to take a knife from the kitchen and just shove it into my stomach." I didn't want to die, or even hurt myself for that matter. But those thoughts haven't stopped since.

I've thought about going into the bathroom and taking every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up, I've thought about hurting myself to take the pain away, just a few days ago on my way to work I thought about driving my car straight into a tree. But I didn't. Why? Because even though that urge was so strong, I didn't want to die. I still don't, I don't want my life to end.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about these feelings. I don't want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you're absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

It's a confusing feeling, it's a scary feeling.

When the depression takes over you feel like you aren't in control. It's like you're drowning.

Every bad memory, every single thing that hurt you, every bad thing you've ever done comes back and grabs you by the ankle and drags you back under the water just as you're about the reach the surface. It's suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

The hardest part is you never know when these thoughts are going to come. Some days you're just so happy and can't believe how good your life is, and the very next day you could be alone in a dark room unable to see because of the tears welling up in your eyes and thinking you'd be better off dead. You feel alone, you feel like a burden to everyone around you, you feel like the world would be better off without you. I wish it was something I could just turn off but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

These feelings come in waves.

It feels like you're swimming and the sun is shining and you're having a great time until a wave comes and sucks you under into the darkness of the water. No matter how hard you try to reach the surface again a new wave comes and hits you back under again, and again, and again.

And then it just stops.

But you never know when the next wave is going to come. You never know when you're going to be sucked back under.

I always wondered if I was the only one like this.

It didn't make any sense to me, how did I think about suicide so often but not want to die? But I was thinking about it in black and white, I thought I wasn't allowed to have those feelings since I wasn't going to act on them. But then I read articles much like this one and I realized I'm not the only one. Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, and my feelings are valid.

To everyone who feels this way, you aren't alone.

I thought I was for the longest time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I didn't understand how I could feel this way. But please, I implore you to talk to someone, anyone, about the way you're feeling, whether it be a family member, significant other, a friend, a therapist.

My biggest mistake all these years was never telling anyone how I feel in fear that they would either brush me off because “who could be suicidal but not want to die?" or panic and try to commit me to a hospital or something. Writing this article has been the greatest feeling of relief I've felt in a long time, talking about it helps. I know it's scary to tell people how you're feeling, but you're not alone and you don't have to go through this alone.

Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, your feelings are valid, and there are people here for you. You are not alone.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255


Cover Image Credit: BengaliClicker

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It's 2019 And Women Are Ashamed To Admit They Want To Raise Families

If you really believe in a woman's right to her life, don't set conditions.

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There is still truth in the statement "it's a man's world."

I am all for women in power because the struggle to show our strength and earn our rights has been a long one, and still, to this day, it can be a struggle.

In no way is this article saying that I think all women should settle down and submit to a man, so let's get that straight.

However, I do ask the question, why is starting a family a dream women now are scared or ashamed to admit? I've worked with young women who have no interest in starting a family what so ever, and there is the occasional one who will ask me why I want to have one. Most will respect my opinion, but as I said, there is the occasional, usually passionate feminist, who tells me that's not what I want.

Ever since I was young, I have dreamt of having a family. I have a bazillion baby names I absolutely adore. Almost daily, I dream of a future husband who will love me and grow old with me. But let me reassure all the feminists who are shuddering about now, I don't plan on playing housewife. I don't need to hear your June Cleaver jokes.

I fully intend to get either a Masters or Doctorate in the field I am studying. And I'm not going to "throw it away" to start a family.

Enough about me though.

There are several, single young women, like myself, who want nothing more than a wedding ring, the kids, the house, the whole white picket fence dream. And their dreams should never - ever - be called wrong. Their hopes are not silly. They are not women who drool at a man's feet or sit around staring out the window, waiting for Prince Charming.

These women are loyal, hard-working, funny, kind, beautiful, intelligent, etc. and deserve everything they have worked for in their life so far. But after all is said about their current life, work, and goals. There is always one thing you can just tell by looking at them that they haven't listed all their life goals. There is that one thing they don't want to admit, because of all the judgment from other women. They're afraid that it will make them look weak or silly.

A young woman should not have to fear that if she admits to wanting a family, all that she has worked for will disappear and other women will seize to see her strength and determination. The idea has become one that makes young girls blush as though ashamed of wanting something so trivial.

Trivial.

So ladies who shame young, fellow females for wanting a family... please tell me this. How is wanting to carry a child literally inside you for nine months and give them your all, your life, your love to them for more than 18 years, weak? How is wanting to learn to die to self and become more caring, shameful? How is wanting to serve someone with all your heart, body, and soul, silly? How is wanting to better your skills by learning to cook for more than one and have clean clothes to wear, stupid? How is going to bed, tired from work but knowing you are loved and relied on by the ones you love, trivial?

Let me help you: it's not.


This generation is a big hubbub of confusion and contradiction. It's plastered all over social media that we as females need to stand together but when a young woman has the audacity to talk about or post about wanting a family, immediately other women tear her down.

We're slowly forgetting how much strength it takes to be a mother and wife. We marvel at her physical strength as she carries a child and gives birth. But what still remains forgotten by women who haven't experienced motherhood or been reminded, is the strength a woman shows as she lays down her life for her home every day.

Life has become so modernized. Houses have to be Pinterest worthy instead of comfortable. Young couples have to maintain "goals" status on Facebook while their relationship consists of pretty much texting. Love is no longer pure, it's all about sex. Sex is no longer shared it's serving one's self. Marriage is no longer forever, it's until "this isn't working for me."

A woman wanting a family is no longer seen as brave but slowing down feminist's progress.

It's as if giving up your life for others is no longer an incredible thing. But it can't be, right? I mean, we admire our heroes on the battlefield, those who risk their lives for justice, people who would risk everything for the ones they love.

But marriage and motherhood? Get with the times, lady, it's 2019.

No!

Stop with the shaming. Start showing love and support. If you really believe in a woman's right to her life, don't set conditions. Don't laugh when she says she wants to have a family, she didn't laugh when you said you didn't.

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