Parenting is wonderful and tiring all at once. The joys of parenting often outweigh the ridiculous moments that pop up at any given time. Sometimes these ridiculous moments lead to situations you never thought that you'd be in, and leave you saying things that you never thought you would. I asked around and the following are ten things that we came up with.
1. Don't eat (fill-in-the-blank)
Nearly all parents have had to have this conversation with their kids. Whether it be glue, food off of the ground, their boogers, or crayons, kids seem to put the darnedest things in their mouths. While we inwardly cringe as they chomp away on the chip that they found god knows where, they couldn't be happier.
2. Where are your pants?
Seriously? I mean you were wearing them less than two minutes ago? Where could they have gone? Somehow pants always seem to go missing and the rest of the clothes shortly after. This is especially fun when you're rushing around trying to get ready to leave and the minute you turn your back another piece of clothing is missing.
3. Underwear does NOT go on your head!
This seems to be more common with little boys. For some reason, they feel that underwear makes an excellent hat. Generally this exclamation is met by a fit of giggles as they run away with the underwear still on their head.
4. Why is there (fill-in-the-blank) in your hair?
You name it and at some point it's been in their hair. Play-Doh, candy, ranch dressing, peanut butter, lotion, and everything else. Kids get into EVERYTHING and somehow they manage to only transfer the sticky or gooey into their hair.
5. Chew your food!
Again, this one seems to be mostly for boys. They want to inhale their food so they can get back to playing quicker. Seems silly having to remind someone to chew before they swallow right?
6. Why are you painting pictures with (fill-in-the-blank)?
Kids get into everything and often times they use whatever they've gotten into to make a small mess into a much bigger problem. One of my favorites is smearing chocolate syrup all over the fridge in order to make a "rocket picture." Another is using lotion to draw all over the floor to make a "rainbow."
7. Let me get that (fill-in-the-blank).
Whatever happens to be on your kid, you don't squirm away from getting it off. Using spit on your thumb to wipe off a smudge of ketchup is second nature. Having to chase around your child to wipe their snotty nose is something you don't even think about anymore.
8. You CANNOT pull down your pants in public!
Seems like common knowledge right? Most people know that there are rules in public. Kids don't care about any of those. They only care that their pants are scratchy or that they're too hot. Pants come right off.
9. You CANNOT fart on people and laugh about it
Again, this seems to be more common with boys. They love fart noises, so why wouldn't they think actual farting is funny? This one comes with a lot of apologizing to others as you try to explain why this isn't okay.
10. Do NOT lick (fill-in-the-blank)
Every variation of this has to have been said at some point. Don't lick the wall. Don't lick the dog. Do NOT lick your sister's foot! What is it with kids and licking things?