There is something, inside of me

slowly bubbling up to the surface.

It’s like the growing pressure inside a helium balloon

getting ready to burst.

Finally reaching that moment when its life

building up around is too much and it POPS!

The pieces, dancing down to the ground as if it’s all over,

and there are no more worries left to be had.

But it always comes back.

The constant feeling of my heart

beginning to break into 12ths, and my body being pushed

deeper and deeper into the hard ground, is too much to bare.

The feeling of constantly hyperventilating

with no end in sight is debilitating to point

that I push myself into an attack without even trying.

The attacks, are as if I see the highest wave

that has ever hit a shore coming towards me

and I can feel it’s massive grip holding me

pushing my insides to the outsides,

and I can’t run away because it’s gonna hit whether I like it or not.

I can’t run because it’s chasing me

and now I can feel its icy breath breathing down my throat, and I can’t breathe.

Like the levees breaking down south,

my north pole feels like it’s beginning to burst at it’s weakest point.

My mind begins to form questions of my sanity;

Will I ever get through this, am I gonna die right here?

How do I control this feeling of constantly running away

huffing and puffing, trying to reach for my inhaler

that seems so far yet I can feel it on my frozen fingertips.

And then I tell myself, breathe.

You are stronger than any condition, or situation.

There is nothing in this world that you can’t accomplish.

You are powerful.