Do you know the difference between pain & suffering. Pain is always there because life is painful as hell but suffering is a choice.. - Unknown

An open letter to anyone with self doubt, anxiety, and depression. It’s okay. Even if things don’t seem necessarily fine at this very moment things can be. I know you’re probably confused as to why you aren’t happy like everyone else, why you aren’t “perfect”, and why you’re so afraid to take chances but you’re not alone. Some of us have been there while others are currently going through the same thing. So the problem is actually pretty common. Sad but true. The reality of it all is that the answer you’re looking for is within yourself. You have to dig deep and find your inner strength because the fact that you’re alive right now simply means that you’re stronger than you think. No matter how far gone you may feel you’re closer than you think to maintaining. You may not achieve complete happiness immediately but the more you push yourself in the direction of positivity is the easier that it’ll be for you to make it. Sure, sometimes the easiest thing in world may be to continue to live in self pity, allowing yourself to just be.. Be sad, feel empty, and alone but the same energy put into those feelings are the same that can be put on the path of.. clarity.

So find something positive that you can pour your energy into, find a hobby. Rediscover who you are and learn how to love your quirks because at the end of the day when it all boils down if you don't you'll find yourself dreading in self sorrow.. Stuck. Laying in bed at night in a pool of your own tears wishing that there was more to your life because you'll feel an overwhelming sense of emptiness that at that time will seem that much greater than you.

"I choose me ,

Because in the end when it all boils down

It'll only be me. Because when I was laying in bed last night crying my eyes out no one was there but me, because my arms are silky smooth, clear, and as clean as can be but I remember sitting up at night fighting with myself trying to prevent the scars from being seen. I choose me because you didn't, because every time you were down I picked you up, when you were alone I was there, when you cried I caught your tears, and the one time I called out to you

with my heart heavy and my vision blurry, I felt like you didn't care because you weren't there.. neither here nor there you weren't the least bit near.. I choose me because it's only fair."

I wrote this once when I was miserable.. (some days I still am) but I wrote this as sort of wake up call to myself. I was surrounded by sorrow and I was exhausted with fighting with myself for consistency. It was something that I planned but rather something that I simply found myself writing. I was confronting myself while trying to single handedly trying to dig myself out of the hole I'd been buried in.

As I’ve said above I find myself struggling what often seems like every day but I was lucky enough to have found my outlet years ago through writing, which I’ve now been able to pair with my other half. . my boyfriend who listens , calms me, and is there to provide me with the clarity I often lack. i appreciate him so much and I think that, that’s also something that’s incredibly important in everyone’s journey to self discovery. Learning to love ourselves first and never giving up on that, keeping our faith (whatever it may be), and being thankful for those who do not have to be there are are key components to living full life.