You are not alone. You will never be alone in this. No one deserves to experience the emotional waves that come with losing a loved one, but millions of people do. Feeling something, feeling anything is inevitable, so do not be afraid to let all your emotions run wild. It’s okay to let it all out and it’s okay to be vulnerable.

Though it may be difficult not to, try not to shut everyone out. Let your family and friends be there for you in your time of grieving and absolute sadness. They are also coping with losing someone dear to them, although it may be in a different way. Everyone copes differently and experiences things in their own way—remember that. This does not mean you should open up and talk right away, but you should consider talking when you are ready to do so to not only let your feelings off your chest but to support theirs as well.

You can go through hard times and deal with them in your own way. You may feel more lost than you have ever been in your entire life. You may feel that your questions could be answered and that you’ll never feel a sense of closure. You’ll wonder when you will be “normal” again, and the truth is, once you decide to take control of your life again, you will be able to carry on and honor the life of your loved one.

Remember that it’s okay to reminisce about the joyful and painful memories and to use the life of that loved one as an example to carry on. Cherish every moment you had together – live your life to the fullest and think about what they would have wanted for you. They will always be with you in your heart, and they will always carry an impact. Losing them serves as a reminder that life can be way too short, and it’s up to you to do what you can while you’re still alive. It’s one thing to be alive, and it’s one thing to live.

Take this time to do what you love, whether it’s writing, making art, singing, knitting, travelling—you name it. Don’t expect to go back to “normal.” You will define the new normal with your newfound strength. You are never expected to be perfect—no one is. Going through such obstacles builds your character, and your experiences are unique to you. Every part of you is intricately seasoned and complex, which makes you distinctively beautiful. There is nothing for you to be ashamed of.

It is entirely your decision whether you want to begin the healing process. Whenever you are ready, carry on and don’t be afraid to take a chance on yourself. You will find peace past the pain and heartache.

In loving memory of Pura Perez and Santiago Huertas.