Pain Is Not Always Visible
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Pain Is Not Always Visible

Sometimes the hardest thing to deal with can be your own mind.

38
Pain Is Not Always Visible
Stephanie Krist

Pain is usually considered a physical thing that many people deal with. This can be caused by a simple paper cut or a punch to the gut in a fight, but pain is more than just physical. Pain can be an emotional and mental thing as well. In particular, I want to draw special attention to emotional pain. For years, we have heard the sayings when this topic has been brought up of "It's going to be ok." or "You'll get over it." There is something completely wrong with saying these things to someone dealing with emotional pain.

Now, I'm not trying to point fingers or call out anyone. I'm simply wanting to talk about this topic from a relatable perspective. My own perspective. I've been struggling with emotional pain for years due to several events that have occurred in my life. I will not divulge these events because they are very personal matters, but I would like to talk about the effects they had on my well-being.

First, I have become very self-conscious of my appearance because I was once called ugly and humiliated by people who I trusted. I will look in the mirror sometimes and pick apart every little thing that is wrong with me. I will stare at my reflection until I can't stand the idea of even looking at myself. Then, I go on to criticize the way I am. The way I act, think, talk and so much more. I try to validate why I even exist or what my purpose is, yet I find no real reason. These are just a few of the struggles I face every day as I wake up.

Every day, I deal with the idea of whether or not I am good enough. The thought of whether I'm going to be a continuous disappointment to those around me. I struggle with getting up every day and finding hope that I will be more than I thought I could be. Yet, there is always the doubt in the back of my mind that I will screw something up. The doubt that if I make one wrong move, then everyone is going to hate me. I'm constantly going back and forth on this endless seesaw with no visible way out.

Constantly, I'm having to hold back the pain of not feeling good enough behind a smile that everyone sees. However, I'm slowly falling further and further into this dark abyss. It's filled with nothing, but silence and emptiness. Something I'm scared to constantly feel. My mind is like a tornado that whirls with self-hatred and dislike for every little thing I am. A tornado I can never escape from because it is a silent storm inside my own mind.

I struggle with severe anxiety to where some moments are so bad I will have a panic attack. I am unable to think or feel as my heart speeds up and my breathing becomes rapid. I feel like I'm drowning in nothingness until I'm numb to my core. These moments where I feel nothing scare me the most because they make me feel like I'm nothing, but an empty void of space.

I will admit I have good moments in my life and am so grateful for them. These moments allow me to escape from the constant blur of emotional pain and anxiety I have to deal with. Moments where I can actually form a real smile on my face and not the fake mask many see. I feel free and alive in these moments whether that's writing down all my thoughts or simply talking with the people I love. Speaking of which, these people in my life are blessings in disguise. They give me the strength to carry on each day and actually breathe. Even when I don't want to.

You never know what someone's personal struggles can be nor the hidden battles they fight every day and night. I wanted to share some of my personal struggles to show how real this topic of emotional pain is. I struggle every day to wake up and get out of bed.

I sometimes want to just disappear, but I push forward with the help of the people who love me in my life. If you ever need to talk or simply want to not be alone, reach out and talk to someone. Without any of these people in my life, I know I would not be here.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

936044
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

112815
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lots of people sat on the cinema wearing 3D glasses
Pinterest

Ever wonder what your friend meant when they started babbling about you taking their stapler? Or how whenever you ask your friend for a favor they respond with "As You Wish?" Are you looking for new and creative ways to insult your friends?

Well, look no further. Here is a list of 70 of the most quotable movies of all time. Here you will find answers to your questions along with a multitude of other things such as; new insults for your friends, interesting characters, fantastic story lines, and of course quotes to log into your mind for future use.

Keep Reading...Show less
New Year Resolutions

It's 2024! You drank champagne, you wore funny glasses, and you watched the ball drop as you sang the night away with your best friends and family. What comes next you may ask? Sadly you will have to return to the real world full of work and school and paying bills. "Ah! But I have my New Year's Resolutions!"- you may say. But most of them are 100% complete cliches that you won't hold on to. Here is a list of those things you hear all around the world.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Ultimate Birthday: Unveiling the Perfect Day to Celebrate!

Let's be real, the day your birthday falls on could really make or break it.

74178
​different color birthday candles on a cake
Blacksburg Children's Museum

You heard it here first: birthdays in college are some of the best days of your four years. For one day annually, you get to forget about your identity as a stressed, broke, and overworked student, and take the time to celebrate. You can throw your responsibilities for a day, use your one skip in that class you hate, receive kind cards and gifts from loved ones and just enjoy yourself.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments