So, you messed up.

Maybe it was just your average mistake, maybe it was a little white lie that turned into a bigger problem, or maybe.... maybe you really messed up. Whatever the case, we've all been there at some point and, luckily, the world *isn't* going to end.

As human beings, we all have a natural tendency to do what is in our best interest, and sometimes that leads us into... trouble. The truth is, though, no matter how catastrophic this trouble seems, there are things we can do to help us put our egos aside in order to own up to our mistakes, ultimately using them to learn and grow.

The first and the most crucial component of moving on from a mistake is actually being able to recognize when you're in the wrong. In order to do this, you really need to challenge yourself and attempt to see the situation from an outside perspective (and, no, when I say "outside perspective", I do not mean the one you've cleverly conjured up that just coincidentally decides you're always right). Really take a step back and try to assess the situation with a clear mind. Where did the problem stem from? What specifically started the conflict? Where does every conversation lead back to when you try to resolve the issue? Or, if you haven't quite made it that far, what is preventing you from attempting to resolve the issue? Is it stubbornness? Egotism? Defiance? If so, from which party is it coming from?

If most of these questions seem to lead back to, ahem, YOU, then Houston, it seems we have a problem. If you've made it to this point, congratulations. Acknowledging that you've done something wrong is not only healthy but also essential to moving towards resolution. You're doing great sweetie.

From here, it is important to craft out the best way to execute an apology. Oh yes, I said it. The dreaded "A" word. It's horrifying, isn't it? The idea of having to admit you're wrong and, even worse, say "I'm sorry"? Truthfully, apologies aren't as complicated as they might seem. In fact, apologizing can be humbling, and it can definitely bring you a solid reality check at times when you need one most. So, let's get to it. A good apology should be clear and specific. That means no "I'm sorry for what I did", no "I understand why it was wrong for me to do what I did", and NO "I wasn't thinking". We want specificity, people!!!!!!!! Address the problem head-on. Identify exactly where you went wrong. Do not make stupid generalizations that make it disgustingly evident that writing this apology is the last thing you want to be doing right now. If crafting your apology really falls that far down on your list of priorities, it sounds like you better be heading back over to step one so you can re-evaluate your situation.

Overused phrases like "I wasn't thinking" are something all of us have heard so many times that it's just annoying now. Even if your apology is heartfelt, throwing in an empty phrase like that can take away some of the power behind your words. We want the person receiving this apology to believe you and trust that you will not repeat the same mistake moving forward. "I wasn't thinking" sends the message that you acted on impulse, and this can result in the other party being led to believe you often make decisions without thinking anything through. Phrases like this are often just used as fillers to make apologies seem longer, and therefore more thought out and heartfelt. In reality, though, a short, to the point apology which addresses the problem head-on and promises a stable solution is much better than a wordy apology that looks impressive but is actually full of.. well, a whole lot of nothing.

After you've designed and delivered your apology, assess the response you get. One of two things can happen: they will either accept your apology or reject it. This depends on both the severity of the mistake as well as the sincerity of your apology. Whichever way the cookie crumbles, from here on out it is essential for you to pay attention so as to avoid repeating this mistake in the future. Be attentive to your words and behavior. If you catch yourself about to get in a little over your head again, take a step back and re-assess. Do you really want a repeat of last time? Probably not. Oftentimes, when an apology is rejected and the mistake is deemed unforgivable by the person harmed, the guilty party will move on and, eventually, make the same mistake again, just in a different setting. If this cycle continues, one day this person will find themselves in a situation where this mistake is particularly unacceptable, and the consequences could be more serious than anticipated. Don't let that be you. Don't allow yourself to end up in a situation you do not want to be in. Your life goes where you take it. You are in control. Use this power wisely.

At the end of the entire experience, you can either choose to let it dishearten you, or you can choose to let it strengthen you and allow you to become a better, wiser person. The choice is yours. Rather than allowing your mistakes to overcome you, take them as a learning experience. Say to yourself "okay, now I know what not to do when faced with this type of situation". Use this as a guideline moving forward. Do not reject your guilt, but also do not let it drown you. You are human! We all make mistakes almost every single day.

Nobody is perfect. "Perfection" isn't even real, because every single one of us has a different idea of it and a different notion of exactly what it means to be "perfect". Rather than trying to be something that simply does not exist, realign your goals with reality and instead strive to be the best version of yourself that you can.

The world could use a little more of that.