To My Roommate

To My Roommate

I owe you my life and then some.

One of the scariest parts about coming to college (at least for me) was the thought of sharing my bedroom with another person. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy spending time with family and friends, however the fact that I would not have a safe haven to escape to that I could call only mine sounded less than inviting. Little did I know how different the reality would be.

Coming to college is an experience unlike any other, and despite all my dread, I truly cannot imagine surviving this year without my roommate by my side. Through all the ups and downs, highs and lows, good and bad, a roommate is there to listen to you vent about (whether she wants to or not) and experience it all with you.

So, to my roommate: there are a laundry list of things you deserve to be thanked for, and if I tried to name them all I would likely be typing this until we return in August (well that is an idea of some possible way to occupy myself for the next four months). However, as we embark on our last week in this 4x4 room and I am searching for any possible means of procrastination, I will attempt to tackle a few of the things I owe you thanks for.

Thank you for turning a blind eye to the non-stop flow of tears the first week of school. We were just getting to know each other, and still embarrassed to own up to the fact that college felt a little bit like what I would imagine hell feels like (chest pains, overwhelmingly high temperatures, non-stop sweat [courtesy of Syracuse University’s lack of fans ANYWHERE], and isolation). But thank you for acting like you didn’t know I was crying and not judging me for it.

Thank you for accompanying me to the dining hall when we could barely even find it, and not judging when all I could bring myself to eat was cereal, but never skipping out on the warm dining hall cookies.

Thank you for sitting in the library with me, and giving me a distraction from work that was full of too many laughs to even feel guilty about the procrastination. Thank you for not kicking me out after the thousand-and-tenth time I recited the first amendment and not judging when I spent the hours I should have been studying singing Hamilton and crying over Derek Shepherd’s death for the 100th time.

Thank you for encouraging me to go out, even when I didn't want to. In the moment I probably yelled at you, but in the end the memories are irreplaceable. These are the best days of our lives, and they are numbered: thank you for helping me embrace them.

Thank you for not judging when I chose to stay in, but rather joining me. The pajama sets, popcorn, and Netflix marathons are just what I needed on those cold and snowy nights in the middle of the winter when the thought of moving from under the covers sounded about as appealing as calculus (that is: entirely unappealing).

Thank you for crafting all my texts, listening to me reread them 20 times, then forcing me to send them despite extreme protest. I literally do not know how you put up with this for an entire year because I even annoy myself, so to this I simply thank you for your patience and lack of murderous tendencies.

Thank you for not kicking me out after I have so much laundry the closet door can't close and then again not kicking me out when the drying rack completely overtakes the room and then again when not kicking me out when I run out of tide pods and have to borrow yours.

Thank you for talking me out of buying a room in a hotel when the walk home at night was too long and cold, and talking me out of eating two calzones at 2 in the morning, and talking me out of texting him back, and talking me out of wearing that outfit, and applying my make-up for every important event ever I need to attend, and all the trillers, and for endless photoshoots, and listening (or at least pretending to) when I tell you all about how "unfair my teachers are" and "annoying this class is."

Thank you for being my friend, mother, doctor, teacher, psychologist, sister, and best friend. Thank you for making our cubicle of a room feel like home. Thank you for making the thought of coming home for the summer to a room in which I need to inhabit alone feel so sad. Thank you for making saying goodbye for the summer so hard.

I miss you already.

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The Thank You My Dad Deserves

While our moms are always the heroes, our dads deserve some credit, too.

Dear Dad,

You’ve gone a really long time without being thanked. I'm not talking about thanks for things like opening the Gatorade bottle I couldn't or checking my tires when my car’s maintenance light is flashing, but rather the thanks I owe you for shaping me into the person I am today.

Thank you for teaching me what I deserve and for not letting me settle for anything less.

While the whole world was telling me I wasn’t good enough, you were there to tell me I was. Whether this was with boys, a friend, or anything else, you always built my confidence to a place I couldn’t build it to on my own. You showed me what my great qualities were and helped me feel unique. But most of all, you never let me settle for anything less than what I deserved, even when I wanted to. Without you, I wouldn’t be nearly as ambitious, outgoing or strong.

Thank you for giving me someone to make proud.

It’s hard to work hard when it’s just for myself, but so easy when it’s for you. All through school, nothing made me happier than getting a good grade back because I knew I got to come home and tell you. With everything I do, you give me a purpose.

SEE ALSO: 20 Things You Say When Calling Your Dad On The Phone

Thank you for showing me what selflessness looks like.

You are the prime example of what putting your family first looks like. If me wanting something means that you can’t get what you want, you’ll always sacrifice. From wearing the same t-shirts you’ve had since I was in elementary school so I could buy the new clothes I wanted, to not going out with your friends so you could come to my shows, you never made a decision without your family at the forefront of your mind. If there is one quality you have that I look up to you for the most, it’s your ability to completely put your needs aside and focus entirely on the wants of others.

Thank you for being the voice in the back of my head that shows me wrong from right.

Even though many of your dad-isms like “always wear a seatbelt” easily get old, whenever I’m in a situation and can’t decide if what I’m doing is right or wrong, I always can hear you in the back of my head pointing me in the right direction. While I may not boost your ego often enough by telling you you’re always right, you are.

Thank you for being real with me when nobody else will.

Being your child hasn’t always been full of happiness and encouragement, but that’s what makes you such an integral part of my life. Rather than sugarcoating things and always telling me I was the perfect child, you called me out when I was wrong. But what separates you from other dads is that instead of just knocking me down, you helped me improve. You helped me figure out my faults and stood by me every step of the way as I worked to fix them.

Most of all, thank you for showing me what a great man looks like.

I know that marriage may seem very far down the road, but I just want you to know that whoever the guy I marry is, I know he’ll be right because I have an amazing guy to compare him to. I know you’re not perfect (nobody is), but you’ve raised me in a such a way that I couldn’t imagine my kids being raised any differently. Finding a guy with your heart, drive, and generosity will be tough, but I know it will be worth it.

Dad, you’re more than just my parent, but my best friend. You’re there for me like nobody else is and I couldn’t imagine being where I am now without you.

Love you forever,

Your little girl

Cover Image Credit: Caity Callan

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3 Reasons To Cut That Bad Friend Off

We all have that one friend who is generally bad for us.


We all have that one friend who is generally bad for us. It is perfectly okay to think about yourself and do what is right for you. It can be very toxic and unhealthy to constantly be around a bad influence in any kind of way. People always say they want to be financially secure or feeling secure with their significant other, but friendships also need security. Here are three reasons why that may not be the case.

1. They aren't supportive.

We all have that friend who generally does not care about what you say or do. You gotta be careful with that. Some people will act like they do, but behind closed doors with their other friends they don't. There are so many things to talk about with friends especially problems and issues within each other's personal life. If that person isn't making any attempt to show any kind of sympathy for you, they aren't the friend for you.

True friends are always behind your back in whatever you may be going through. Yes sometimes it can be hard because everyone has their own problems, but if you are willing to give and take it makes a good balance. What I mean by that is, giving each other space to breathe and reflect on things that are happening, then come together and talk about it with one another.

2. Too clingy or needy.

Another part in having not so good friends is if the person is too close to where they don't give you any space to get yourself together. The person who is clingy may have personal things going on in their life to make them like that and that is okay. But it can become unhealthy if the problems start becoming your problems and it is taking over your life in a negative way. What I mean by that is if that person is acting a certain way towards you and you can't seem to enjoy life as much sometimes to where you actually feel miserable, that is unhealthy. For example, jealousy. There are some friends who are very clingy because they are nosy and very jealous.

They don't take your kind friendship seriously because they are too busy secretly comparing their life to yours. There are some things in life that you can't control or help others with because it has to be handled a certain way. At the same time, you are still going through your own things and it can be draining to try and "fix" someone else when you have a lot on your plate as it is. Sometimes it is best to cut them off if they generally will not leave you alone or they are manipulating you in any kind of way from it. Sometimes doing that gives people a wake-up call of how they take their anger or problems out on others.

3. They talk about you behind your back.

To make this clear, everyone talks about everyone. There is nothing wrong with that. But there is a difference between generally talking about someone to inform someone about what is going on, expressing frustration and trying to resolve something by asking for advice, compared to actually bad mouthing about someone in a very rude and mean way. If the person is actually saying mean things about you, they aren't the friend for you. If they insult you in any kind of way (race, gender, outer appearance, personality, family or other friends), it is best to stop being friends with them. If they talk about you behind your back and plan anything to try and harm you or someone else, it is best to cut them off and also inform some type of authority.

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