Now, I’m not one to eavesdrop, but when a southern woman sits in the booth directly behind you at the Chile’s near the Orlando airport and speaks louder than any other person at the joint, you freakin’ listen. Especially if said woman says the word ‘boat’ three times in two sentences. I’m telling ya, she could not shut up about her husband’s boat. I would tune out of the conversation (more like a monologue if you ask me) and seven minutes later, she’s still talking about the boat. What is it about boats that have her so enthralled? Why can’t I be this excited about anything?

Next thing I know, my quesadilla shows up and she’s moved on to an even better topic: what she’s planning on packing for a trip with her husband (did I mention he has a really nice boat?). I’m not kidding, this woman goes into great detail on every little thing she is thinking about packing. I thought I was an over- packer, but this lady has me beat.

But wait, it gets better! I know now that this woman went to THREE stores before she found her beloved crocs. They are the one pair of shoes she knows for sure she’s going to bring on her trip. And guess what? She’s even planning on wearing wool socks with said crocs. That’s right- WOOL SOCKS. IN FLORIDA. WITH CROCS. You can’t make this stuff up.

Now, this woman was having lunch with one or two other ladies and I think only one of them actually got to squeeze a few sentences in the entire time. I never even got a look at boat/croc/sock lady, but her voice- if you can imagine it- sounded like what Donald Trump would sound like if he were a woman. Raspy, slightly southern accent, and loud. It was certainly my favorite experience at Chile’s thus far. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a good eavesdropping session.