In elementary school, I coined the phrase, “my stomach hurts.” The term was so overused that it came to be a joke every time I was doubled down in pain. Whenever my brother said, “I’m hungry,” we would reply with, “Nice to meet you, Hungry.” Whenever I said, “my stomach hurts,” everyone would reply with, “Hi, Stomach Hurts.” It didn’t make grammatical sense whatsoever, however the laughs continued.

The pain varies. Sometimes it feels dull and underwhelming. Sometimes it feels as if every organ in my body has failed and death is too near. I’ve been to the Emergency Room far too many times to not think about those that lose life because of immense pain. The last time I went to the hospital was the day before high school tryouts during my senior year. The time before that was in the middle of practice in summer. The first time was a few months prior at four in the morning. Of course I’ve never even been remotely close to death, however my pain tolerance has been exceeded far too many times too count.

It feels like a poisonous entity entered my abdomen a decade ago and increasingly worsened it’s pain leverage as each year passed, never ceasing until halted by Tylenol, but then continuing right thereafter. When this entity chooses it’s course of action, it is never expected. It’s constantly moving from the left side to the right, then up to the chest, around to the back, and sometimes it even shoots up to the head. The worst part, however, is that there is no way to rid my body of this poisonous entity.

I’ve missed games, practices, and sat through warmups. I had to bail on a date with a guy that I really liked. I’ve cancelled important plans far too often. I’ve had to go to bed early while homework kept piling high. I’ve ditched friends last minute too many times to count. Car rides are horrendous. My goal is to survive an entire midterm without rushing to finish early. I’ve missed so much already in the last two decades, however no solution has surfaced.

I’ve seen multitudes of doctors and I’ve travelled to an abundance of offices, yet no answer is ever clarified. There had been too many blood tests, x-rays, ultrasounds, dietary journals, and random probing that has ultimately revealed no outcome. All those Emergency Room visits resulted in a stomach relaxant, followed by confusion and false answers.

I’ve learned to deal with the pain. I’ll go rest or nap whenever I feel uneasy. I stopped going to the doctor. I never found a cure, I simply learned to ignore the torture.

The last doctor suggested stress to be the reason for the pain. Stress could have formed from excitement to go on that date or nerves before a large presentation. There is no cure for stress. I learned, however, that I couldn’t spend my entire life ignoring exciting plans in order to avoid that poisonous entity in my stomach.

Too many times, people use their health problems as excuses. I don’t want to spend my entire life missing important events because of stress in my stomach, I just want the pain to cease.

At the end of the day, as long as you can feel the pain, you’re still living, and that is all that really matters.