Shannon L. Alder once said, “Most misunderstandings in the world could be avoided if people would simply take the time to ask, ‘What else could this mean?’”

Do you ever get a text, see a picture, or read a tweet and it makes you paranoid? You keep rereading that text or tweet or keep pulling up that picture and basically dissecting it, me too. That happens to me a lot more then I would like to admit.

I am an overthinker. It is not something I am proud of and definitely not one of my best qualities but I can’t help doing it.

Every relationship I have whether it is with a friend, sibling, parent, or guy, I always struggle with overthinking. If my mom texts me and says “okay” I will think she’s mad when all she really means is okay. If someone leaves my Snapchat on read, I will start to think about what I could’ve done differently. Maybe my selfie was bad or the caption wasn’t funny or interesting. Most of the time, they forget or thought they replied. If my friend doesn’t respond to my text or texts me back short replies I will think something is wrong with them or I did something wrong.

Sometimes overthinking can be good, however, when I overthink, it is almost always bad. I overthink and put myself down and make issues that were not there in the first place. I will make unnecessary problems with my friends or with guys because my mind will think about things until they turn negative. You took a picture with someone else? You like her better. You didn’t reply to my text? You’re mad at me or you don’t want to talk to me anymore.

My friends struggle with overthinking as well. The other night I was up for a while and my friend and I were talking about how we overthink. We were relating to each other when we were talking about how we will always end up saying sorry even if we did nothing wrong. In my head, if I don’t say sorry they won’t talk to me anymore, they won’t want to be my friend. But I didn’t do anything wrong, why should I say sorry? If I don’t, I will lose a friend. Will I actually? No. Well, I hope not.

I am aware that overthinking is not solely about different relationships. It is very easy to overthink in everyday life. Have you gotten a bad test grade and you can’t stop thinking about it? Maybe you accidentally spilled someone’s food and you can’t get it out of your head. Yes, it is embarrassing but continuously thinking about it is not going to help.

Nothing is going to change and you need to accept that.

If you are reading this and are thinking this girl is nuts, you aren’t totally wrong. I may be a little paranoid but it is common for people nowadays which is unfortunate. Some people overthink to the point of destroying themselves. Luckily, I am completely aware of how much I think but as much as I try to stop there is always a part of me that thinks “this is what they really mean” or “this is a possibility.”

To be honest there really is not a way to stop thinking too much. You just need to remember that whatever happens, happens and try to hope for the best.