When You Realize You Outgrew Your Friends From High school

When You Realize You Outgrew Your Friends From High school

It's hard saying goodbye, but sometimes it's the right thing to do.

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Whoever said that "high school is the best for years of your life," is a liar. Life is so much more than high school football games on a Friday night, going to the mall with your friends, and pointless drama.

Coming back to my childhood home is probably the hardest thing I've ever done. I feel disconnected to who I really am because I've been bored in reality. I get that summer is suppose to be this time to relax, but all I've wanted is to go back to my life at college and be with my friends there.

Maybe to an extent, I was never meant to be friends with a majority of the people from my high school. However, it is kind of hard not to when you see these people five days of your week for seven hours. You are kind of forced to make due with what you got since we do not get a choice of where we go to high school, most of the time.

I always felt like an outsider. My town is a close knit community where everyone knows each other. I only moved to my hometown when I was 6 years old, but I did not start attending the public high school until eighth grade. I was then pushed into the Honors classes going into freshman year of high school, so I was already closed off to most of my class since I joined the smart kids club. Neither of my parents went to my high school, I am an only child, so I was a mystery for what seemed like the longest time.

Looking back on it, I outgrew my high school junior year, so even before I graduated. Like any other small town kid, I was ready for excitement and adventured. I was finally about to choose where I go to college, and I was determined to get as far away as possible.

It was tough my first semester of college to see my classmates still meeting up with each other on the weekends. I kind of felt like I hadn't found a place to call my own on my college campus, so I did ache to go back to what I was familiar with. I wanted to runaway from college and go back to the life I knew because it was easy.

To put more context to the circumstances, many of my classmates stayed local. They went to colleges approximately 30 minutes to an hour away from each other. They went to each other's colleges and went back home often. Maybe I was afraid of missing out and not giving Temple the chance to be this wonderful new start? Maybe I was refusing to see all the wonderful things my college had to offer, so I was refusing to even pursing them because I wanted to go back home.

It took up until my second semester to finally feel like Temple was my home. I felt myself growing further from my hometown, and that's what I always wanted. Sure, I would always feel connected there because that's where my parents are. Home really for me now is North Philadelphia and wherever my parents are.

My high school "friends" are still within their same cliches or meeting with people who did, at one point, attend our high school, and that's okay. However, that is not who I am anymore. I've changed from the person I was even over a year ago, so yes, I am an outsider to my high school friends and I did outgrow them. That's all okay because I know I'm happier with the life I live now and have friends who do care about me. They just happen to still be either in Philadelphia or live out of the state.

I will always be grateful for the friendships I did form in high school, and only wish the best for them. We're just all growing up and it's time I fully move on to this new exciting chapter of my life since my life is no longer in New Castle, Pennsylvania.

Cover Image Credit:

https://www.pexels.com/photo/grayscale-photography-of-four-women-wearing-clothes-1065081/

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20 Phrases All Roommates Say To Each Other

Some common phrases all roommates have said to each other at some point.
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1. Do I have to go to class?

2. When do you have class today?

3. Want to get lunch before your next class?

4. Do you think I need to wash my hair? I can’t tell if it’s greasy.

5. What’s the weather? I don’t know what to wear.

6. Are you going out tonight?

7. What should I wear tonight?

8. Can I borrow a shirt?

9. We have to watch *insert Netflix show here*.

10. Want to order in dinner tonight?

11. We have to take a cute picture tonight so I can Instagram.

12. Is this a good caption for my Instagram? How’s the edit?

13. Ok I instagrammed … go like and comment.

14. We should probably clean our room soon.

15. Can I borrow your *insert random item here*

16. I’m so hungry.

17. I think it’s time to do our laundry.

18. I’m going to start eating healthy and go to the gym more.

19. The dining hall menu is so bad today.

20. Thanks for being my best friend.

Cover Image Credit: Author's photo

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To My First Best Friend Who I Lost Because I Was Foolish

We all make mistakes, but losing you was the one I wish I never made.

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When we met, we were young. Two twelve-year-old girls with little to no life experience, naive and waiting for the world to come at us with all that it had.

We bonded quickly over anything and everything (whatever that could have been at this age) and became inseparable soon enough. Hours spent talking on the phone about which PBS cartoon was the best or what kind of boys were our "type" strengthened our blooming friendship and, for once, I felt like I finally had someone I could call my best friend.

I told you everything. I told you about my family and why I don't talk to certain members, and you told me about your family and why you don't know certain members. We trusted each other with our deepest and darkest secrets, we found solace in each other when it got hard to speak and we comforted each other when memories triggered emotions that were beyond our capabilities to handle.

As the months passed by, you became a bigger part of my life little by little. I remember a time where I couldn't have pictured going a day without talking to each other, and it seems like a lifetime ago when we would wake up early in the morning and immediately get on the phone after going to sleep late the night before.

I never wanted to believe that friendships don't last forever, despite what I had always heard. I wanted us to be different; I wanted us to be the exception that everyone could look at and say, "those are real best friends."

But I never took into consideration that sometimes, friendships don't last because one of the parties f**** it up.

We could talk in circles about what happened between us (we probably have) and we'd still end up at the same conclusion: It was me. And, at the end of the day, I think I always knew that I was the detrimental factor in our ultimate demise.

I did what every girl swears they will never do, what every girl says is the absolute worst thing to do: I chose my boyfriend over our friendship, and it's my biggest regret.

It's not that I meant to. I never thought I would even be capable of choosing anyone over you. We were unstoppable and I always believed I could never find anyone to be more important in my life than you, my best friend.

But, when you're "young and in love" (or blinded by what you think is love) you make stupid decisions without thinking of the consequences that will surely come.

I can't remember exactly what the situation was, or maybe I can and I just don't see a point in hashing it out for the millionth time because it only reminds me of what I wish I could change. Regardless, I don't think the details matter when the end result is what changed our lives forever.

The truth is, I don't really know how your life was after the fact. I know that I had a relationship that I dreaded, friends that I probably took for granted, and family that I didn't thank enough. But I never asked what got you through my absence, if my absence hurt as much to you as it did to me, or when you realized that you didn't need me anymore as much as you thought you did.

Maybe I didn't need to know, and maybe I still don't, it's just interesting to see how self-centered I was.

I've grown up a lot since then. I've dealt with some of the hardest things I would never wish upon anyone, I've come to see who I am and who I'm meant to be, and I've acknowledged and accepted my faults and mistakes a thousand times over.

I know I apologized to you more times than you can count, but I know that I'll never be able to say sorry enough. You were my better half, my lifeline, my best friend, and I kick myself every day for throwing it away like it meant nothing when it was everything.

We've moved past it together as much as we can, and we're now able to look back and chalk it up to "silly teenage girl things," but it doesn't mean that it can be erased. Our friendship exists now, but I can't help but wonder what it could have been if nothing would have happened.

2007 is a long time ago, twelve years since we met to be exact. We're both going to be twenty-four this year (you already are, I still have a month to go) and it would have been a friendship for the record books if we had made it this far.

Maybe our weddings would have been planned together. Maybe we would have been each other's maids of honor, and maybe we would have each planned kickass bachelorette parties that would never have been forgotten.

I know I don't want to have kids, but maybe in another world we could have been pregnant at the same time. Our kids could have been born with a best friend already chosen, one that would love and support them the same way that we would have done for each other. And though a lot of kids hate being thrown into friendships with their parents' kids, maybe ours would have been the exception.

I don't know what would have been, and I could go on forever with the "maybes" and the "what ifs" but it doesn't change the fact that they're all simply wishes and dreams, those that were lost the moment I turned my back on a friendship that was always there when I needed it.

You and me, we've found our homes in new people. We've formed bonds, made connections and surrounded ourselves with those who love us, and I think that's great and it's how it should be.

Still, I wish we could be for each other what we once were, what we should have been.

I made mistakes and I walked away from a friendship that was everything I needed it to be, and there's not a day that goes by in which I don't regret it.

And even though life goes on and we had to find a way to go along with it, I wouldn't mind going back and choosing differently. Because I know now that friendships as important and as pure as the one we had should always come first.

Always.

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