Falling Out Of Love With Love

"There is no way I am getting into a relationship this year." One of the first things that I established in common with my college roommate was that we both weren't looking for a boyfriend. We were fresh to the college scene, no longer burdened by the judgmental ways of high school. We just wanted to make friends and have fun. After all, who was looking for commitment? Not us. However, a semester later, my roommate is now in a relationship and I am as single as ever.

I'm not unhappy or lonely or a man-hater, though. I just don't believe in love. Or at least, I've fallen out of love with the idea of love. Romantic comedies have forever ingrained this perfect love story in our minds, in which couples magically solve all their problems and realize exactly who they're supposed to be within a 90-minute span.

I call bullshit.

Love in college is hard, and for a girl who's afraid of commitment, it seems almost impossible. I'm not closed off to the idea of dating or being in a relationship, but so far, I have yet to find someone who's changed my mind about love. Being in college has opened the door for so many new opportunities, and I find myself changing with every passing day. If I don't even know who I am yet, how can I know who I want to be with?

It's true that I am uncertain about love, but my doubts are valid. So far, I've seen so many couples fall out of love after coming to college. And most of those who aren't are dealing with issues such as infidelity, boredom, and lack of trust. Why subject myself to these stresses when I'm content being alone?

However, as skeptical as I am of love, I am so incredibly happy for my roommate. She's found someone who cares for her and understands her. Maybe one day I'll find a person who makes me laugh a little louder and smile a little wider, but for now, I'm perfectly fine doing me.

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