I was watching a Pakistani TV series where this divorced woman with two children was living with her childhood friend, who happens to be a man. He has been helping her out with her children’s needs but his mother has problems with this because she is a divorced woman with two children.

“Why is she living with him?”

“She must have been the reason why her marriage failed.”

“My son cannot marry her because she is a divorcee.”

These were the questions and statement made by the man’s mother to the woman. In this article, I want to talk about the way divorced women are treated by society. In Pakistan, a man just has to say “I divorce you” three times to the woman for the divorce to be completed. It not as complicated as it is here, where a lot of rounds to the court are made.

It is pretty obvious that whatever is portrayed on television, people pick it up and it is influenced by the actual culture and religion. In Islam, it is legal for a man to divorce his wife just by uttering three words, mentioned above. After the man has said those words, the wife cannot live with them anymore and after that the divorce papers are sent to her. Is it just me who sees a problem in this? First of all, how the woman feels is completely ignored, a decision is made and forced down her throat and then expects her to happily accept it.

Women are blamed for the marriage failing, people do not see that it can be the man’s fault as well. They expect the woman to baby the man and obey him as well because he is the provider and out ranks her. Gender inequality is obvious in that country so the fact that women are belittled and degraded after they are divorced is even worse. What is appalling is that, other women mock and taunt the divorced women, where did sisterhood go?

The life of a divorced woman is terrible because it is very hard for her to get married again. In most cases, if she has children, they are taken from her and the father’s family raises them. She cannot do what she used to do when she was married and single, she has to keep to herself, cannot converse with another man and keep quiet. Basically, she has become this second class citizen, her freedom and liberties have become limited. What infuriates me is that the fact that a man will not marry a divorced woman due to the fact that she has been with another man, has had children with him, and if he got married to her, he would have to raise another man’s children. Additionally, her character is questioned, all sorts of scenarios are made up by people. Let’s not forget about the very obvious double standards because if a divorced man has a job, house and car or basically financially stable, he can happily get married again. Even if a successful woman gets divorced, she will face a lot of hardships because obviously she cannot take care of her husband and make her marriage work.(sarcasm).

I think it is high time for women to be given the respect they deserve after they have been divorced or want to file a divorce. If they want to decide on parting ways with their spouse, they should be treated as an adult, not some child who made a rash decision. Why is it right for men to be treated fairly and not be blamed for the marriage not working? Women deserve the right to speak freely and get the right to have custody of their children after divorce, of course legally. Lastly, a divorced woman should not be shunned and automatically be placed on a list of people who men should not marry.