In 2015, the Treasury Department announced that Alexander Hamilton would be removed from the $10 bill. However, thanks to the tireless efforts of Lin-Manuel Miranda and his musical, "Hamilton," Alex will remain on the bill. The moral of this story isn’t that if you persevere you can overcome any obstacle and establish your place in history, but that the government responds to musicals. Unfortunately, there are still so many problems in the world that the government just can’t seem to solve. Since all someone has to do to influence political change is rap, then we should be fine. So Mr. Miranda, here is a brief list of subjects that you should write musicals about.
1. The crisis in the Middle East
Wow, things are getting tense over there. And the U.S. government is just baffled by what to do. Should we invade? Bomb ISIS from a distance? Or just stay on this side of the ocean and hope nobody finds us. The President and pals need help deciding what to do and nothing would be more informative for them than a fun musical with some “mad flow.” Let’s trade military battles for rap battles.
2. Immigration
This issue is divisive and nobody really knows what to do about it. People are coming to America (I think from Canada? I’m not sure. I’m really out of touch with real problems) to find a better life and we need to figure out how to help them while remaining financially strong. Trump wants to build a wall, but how about we build a fourth wall and have a musical about it?
3. Wall Street
If Adam McKay can make the corruption in the financial industry exciting, imagine how much more exciting it would have been if Steve Carrell rapped about it instead! Wall Street definitely gets away with a lot and the public needs to be informed about—wait a second, I just got a huge check from a corporation that wishes to remain anonymous to keep quiet about this one so…forget I said anything…
4. Infrastructure
What’s more fun than a four hour musical about performing routine repairs to state highways? Just about everything…on second thought, not everything can be a musical. Some things will just remain boring and should be ignored by the general public.
5. Healthcare
It’s been six years since the government passed the Affordable Care Act and we still haven’t A) been transformed into a utopia free of illness and woes. B) turned in a "Fury Road-esque"apocalyptic world where healthcare is sacrificing the sick to the rain gods. So honestly, nothing has been accomplished. But if there was a musical about fixing healthcare, then I’m sure Congress would wake up and smell the prescription coffee.
Congress may be incompetent but as long as every major problem becomes a major Broadway phenomenon we’ll be in great shape! So Lin-Manuel Miranda, it’s time to stop swimming in a pool of $10 bills and start writing! America needs you! Also, please send me tickets in advance. I assume it’ll be impossible to acquire tickets to "Unreasonably High incarceration Rates: The Musical" once it becomes a major hit.