Organized Religion Is More Disappointing Than Anything
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Religion

Organized Religion Is More Disappointing Than Anything

As soon as you stop attending church, your "friends" stop calling.

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Attending church can be an enjoyable experience. Whether you are "of faith" or not, it can be a place to meet new people, say hello to friendly faces, shake hands with people you've never met before (and may never meet again) and socialize with folks who come across as friendly, sociable and very personable. It can be an enjoyable place to get a coffee, listen to some good worship music, listen to the message from the pastor, learn a bit about faith (or more than you already know), hear a positive message and get a great heartfelt experience.

It can also be a place that will lead you down a road to disappointment - you find out that people you thought were friends aren't the minute you stop attending "their" church and learn things about people that you never expected to learn. Organized religion can do that to you. It is the disappointment of attending (or not attending) church.

Growing up in a family that didn't have church included in their daily activities, attending church regularly was not an experience that I was familiar with. I knew nothing about church. I knew nothing about Christians except the town I grew up in was full of people who attended church, full of people who believed in God and full of people who judged and mistreated others who weren't like them, were hypocritical, abusive and burned crosses in cemeteries. This is what I knew about organized religion as a kid. You went to church. You asked God for forgiveness. And then you verbally (or physically) abused the non-believing neighbors who didn't have a Christmas tree, didn't attend church or didn't believe as they did. It was a hard lesson learned, a lesson that you'd think would keep an individual away from organized religion.

Growing up, I saw people burning crosses. It didn't make sense. I saw people judge others who didn't follow, believe or do the same things as church-going people did. I saw people who read the Bible on Sunday, attended church, believed in a God and then abused others around them who didn't believe or act the same way as they did.

In today's life, some things still haven't changed when it comes to organized religion.

People go to church. They ask God for forgiveness for their sins. They treat each other at church in a friendly manner. They smile at new people who come to their church. They shake their hands. They treat each other properly and appropriately in church. They look good as couples. But when they leave church, you learn things about them that haven't changed through the years. It's just judgmental. It's just the truth. Christians drink. They swear. They have their problems. But they do what they do. They post perfect social media posts. They make their life look good. They make their marriages look happy. They post pictures of their kids. And all the while believing in God who tells them to treat others equally.

But the disappointment of attending (or not attending) church comes with a long list of lessons learned. You can go to church, make a great bunch of new friends and then learn the minute you stop attending church, the calls stop, the text messages become more sporadic and time and time again talks of plans never happen. One excuse after another is made when explaining why they can't hang out with you. It's almost as if Christians are embarrassed to have "non-church" attending friends in their circle. The easiest way to solve the problem? Stop associating with them. Don't go out socially with them. Don't carry through on plans that used to happen when everyone was part of a happy church group. And soon enough, the non-attending "friends" just disappear. It's easy. They get frustrated with the hypocritical behavior. They get tired of knowing they're being blown off. And they move on.

Organized religion is a difficult thing. it is called a crutch by many non-believers. It is called something else by atheists. For Christians, it is a way of life. It is their social circle. It is their trusted group of friends. It is their clique. Most pastors are amazing people. They truly want to help. They want to be your friend. They want to socialize with you. I am blessed to say I have two that are personal friends. I am thankful for that. But in truth, I can count my "friends" I've met from church on one hand. And it wouldn't take up all five fingers on that one hand.

The disappointment of attending (or not attending) church is difficult to deal with. It involves meeting people that you think are friends. Then when you stop going to church, they stop being a part of your life. They don't reach out. They don't want to socialize with you or associate with you. And oftentimes when they are called out about it, rather than talk about it maturely, they simply walk away, cut ties, stop calling altogether and move on. And it's you that is cast out. People that deal with that long enough simply don't want to go to church. They don't want that disappointment. They don't want the hypocrisy. They don't want to walk into a building knowing it's filled with a half dozen or more cliques of friends who know each other, socialize with each other, have dinner with each other, invite each other to their respective houses and you leave at the end of a service thinking that you could have maintained your relationship with God by (a) not leaving your house and (b) not experiencing being ignored, shunned or knowing your "friends" pretend to like you but won't ever actually carry through with plans you want to make with them.

Time and time again, you attend a new church. You meet new friends. You go to a new home. You listen to a new band. You read new scriptures. You see a new pastor. And sadly, the song remains the same. The same book. The same message. The same people. And the same disappointment when you leave the building time and time again with the same results.

Empty.

The disappointment of organized religion and attending (or not attending) church is a decision made by millions. The Christian faith is one of the largest in the world. Churches accept tens of millions of dollars in "tithes" and donations. And in the long run, only the respective handful "fit in" or "belong" or are "part of the home." And the rest are left standing outside when the door closes.

For the last 25 years, I have been constantly disappointed, let down and have felt empty attending church. The message has been great. The pastors have been amazing. The music has been wonderful. My faith in God has never faltered. But my faith in the people that constantly let me down, disappoint me and pretend to be my friends has left me disgusted, angry at times and just not wanting to step foot in the door of another church.

God is wonderful. A majority of the people involved in organized religions are not. Today a friend said to me, "You will always find the good people in church. But unfortunately, you will find the not so good people. It's a hard decision to pick through the ones to keep and the ones to let go."

I've made some good temporary friends at church. I call them temporary because the minute I stop attending, they stop being. And that hurts more than anything. Plans don't happen. Promises of a social gathering don't materialize. Time and time again the excuses come out. And in the end, it's all the same.

As long as you attend church you have a great support group and everyone loves you. And the minute you stop going? It's like you never existed.

That is the disappointment of organized religion and attending (or not attending ) church. In 25 years, nothing has changed.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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