Key for reading this article:

Rachel Lester ---> Bold Text ; Victoria (Tory) Wolf ---> Italicized text

Some of you may be wondering, what in the universe is an ‘oppo’ friend.

Well, think of it like this, you’re you and then there’s this chick that’s like not you and you’re like bffs.

So an ‘oppo’ friend is basically just an opposite friend.

Wow, good job.

Thanks, Tory. You’re so encouraging. Anyway, this article is about a few of the good times, struggles, and advice we have to give to those of you who have an oppo friend! (disclaimer: we’re very different but also have our similarities. For those of you familiar with Myers Briggs, I’m an INFJ while Tory is an INFP).

Good times

So having an oppo friend has quite a few perks. We ya know… have a good time, I guess.

Okay, yes, we do have good times, that’s true. But whats cool about being so different is that we balance each other out in several ways.

Mmm mmm well said, well said. Also, we certainly have fun learning about the others personality and how our differences bring us together.

Another perk to being different is that when one of us is too chicken to do something, the other will go ahead and do it (I guess that's only sometimes, because there's definitely circumstance where this is not true at all).

I suppose we also enjoy finding things that we have in common, like when we say the same thing at the same time, or have the same reaction to something. When this happens it’s more of a surprise and gives us quite a laugh when it does happen. We find that we like music we never even thought to listen to or movies we never thought of watching.

I would add books we never thought of reading but that doesn’t happen. Just kidding--Tory has recommended some books to me that I’ve never had the chance to read. Like "Go Set a Watchman."

Truth is, I like never read… ever. If Rachel recommends a book to me I’m usually like “Oh yeah! I’ll have to check that out!” Then I turn back to my Cheetos and continue Netflix binging.

It’s also cool because we know we’re so different. We’re not totally ignorant of that fact and I think that opens us up to accepting each other more easily and counting the differences as a blessing rather than something to bemoan. I think this may help us accept others who are different than us as well.

Also when Rachel uses words like “bemoan” she’ll go on Dictionary.com and read me the definition. Something cool about us is that I’m the youngest in my family and Rachel’s the oldest, so I totes stole her little brothers.

She didn’t legit steal them. That would be...illegal. But she’s basically adopted them as her little brothers.

We also don't argue very much, which has come as a suprise. We have little tiffs here and there, like any friends do, but we’ve never legitimately fought.

Anyway, perhaps we should move on now?

Yeah, yeah.

Struggles

So as oppo friends we’ve definitely run into our share of difficult times navigating our differences.

Pshhhhh, like what?

Sometimes we don’t understand each other. One of us will say something and the other will just shake their head, give an incredulous look, and just say ‘K’. I’m the most guilty of this…

Mmmm, indeed you are. I know one of the main things I had to get used to is Rachel’s not as strict with time as I am. Before we were friends I would leave at least 15 minutes early for things, I now usually leave 5 minutes early if I’m lucky.

That’s something so interesting. I’m patient and loose with time whereas Tory is a bit impatient and strict with time, and those were things that were difficult to get used to for the both of us. But we’ve also both grown a bit too, I think.

I also have to respect that while I’m an ambivert, Rachel’s a full blown introvert, so at times I have to let her have her space. She’s also not a physical touch person… at all… whereas physical touch is my love language.

To add to that, when we were first getting to know each other, sometimes I would be pulled to the very end of my string and I needed time alone otherwise I would have said something I regretted and nobody wants that. But now Tory knows I need time alone and she respects my space and that’s cool. But as far as love languages go, I’m still learning to let her hug me or touch my face or whatever, so that’s an area that could use growth.

Rachel likes to walk, I don’t believe in movement of any kind. I enjoy long drives and staying indoors, admiring God’s creation from afar.

This is true. We enjoy many different things and sometimes that makes it difficult to relate to each other. Tory adores Anime and movies whereas I’ve started and not finished more movies than I’ve watched through.

So wrong… Perhaps we should move on to the advice section.

Probs.

Advice

All hope is not lost! Having an oppo friend is a blessing. I think the biggest struggle is at the beginning of the friendship when you aren’t used to each other yet.

Isn't that the truth. When I first met Rachel, I was completely weirded out by her. Like “who’s this home-schooled chick across the hall, she could never handle me.” Then I found out we’re both writers, and we went for a walk (yuck) and talked about our stories. She seemed pretty cool so I kept her around.

Thanks. I appreciate it. But that’s a good point--there’s usually something big you have in common that brings you together. For us, it’s writing. This means we can talk about our plots, characters, etc and have a darn good time. We don’t have to be able to relate on every point or everything because that would be boring.

So true, like it’s easy for us to converse about things because we have so many things the other doesn’t know about. Even our format of writing is different. I write screenplays, Rachel writes novels. But when we come together and read each other’s work or pitch it to each other, there’s such variety in it.

You learn a lot in a friendship like this. There’s so many differences everywhere and you’re left with a more open perspective for people and life. So, a word of advice, if your friend does something that gets on your nerves, be patient and kind. Don’t get upset and freak out, but understand how different you are and realize that’s a good thing.

Awwwwwww, that’s nice… I like that. I got nothing else.

You may think it’s easier to let your friendship fade away, but it’s not. Every good and bad thing is worth it. The good does outweigh the bad, by far, and it’s just really cool to look back at your first impressions of your friend and see how different you both are but also how far you’ve come.

It really is, like I cannot believe that we’re best friends. We will acknowledge it all the time, because it still surprises us, but it makes us happy. We know that God has brought us together and we couldn’t be more thankful for that.

That really is the truth though. It really doesn’t make sense how we’re friends sometimes. But it’s incredible. So, press on, "oppo" friends! You will discover that your differences only give depth to your friendship.

Nice bro, nice.