Eighteen total absences. You are allowed 9 absences per semester, and I had 18. The real reason I graduated high school early was because I wanted to escape my family, not because I wanted to go to college (partially), or whatever bull shit I made up.

(Maria Marrugo)

Coach

Honestly, what the f*ck? You're the adult! I can't honestly say I forgive you, but I'm trying to come to peace with what happened.

(Maria Marrugo)

Not only did you say I needed to lose weight, but you also made me cry in front of the whole track team. You want to know why I was skipping track practice? You thought I was being a teenager and just skipping for fun? Don't worry, all my teachers thought so. Want to know the worst part? Only one teacher apologized.

I didn't go to track practice for about a week. This was the week that I thought I was going to be homeless. I was receiving my college acceptances, which should have been an exciting time, but it wasn't.

Then I showed up to track practice.

You call a meeting in the middle of the football field.

Then you went off: "I am so proud of everyone that does the right thing. You are out here showing up to practice every day. As for some of you, aren't."

At some point, I start crying. Your words only got meaner.

At this point, I block it out. I can't listen because I'm trying so hard not to sob. You say something about how irresponsible it is to not call or text, and how doing that to the track team is shitty. You continue to say how that shows a lack of character, and how people like that probably shouldn't be in track.

At this point, I am sobbing. In front of everyone. I kept my head down because I didn't know what to do. Do I stay there and just take it, or do I run off? Where can I even run off to? I left my home, I don't have anywhere to go. I have so much homework, I can't break down now.

After you were done speaking, I packed my shit and left. I ran to Shenica's. Not only did you humiliate me in front of everyone, but you never even apologized. I wasn't even good at track, I just did sports to stay out of trouble, and you were such an ass about it. Why are you making a 17-year-old cry? As if things at home weren't bad enough... Why did you have to call me out in front of the entire track team, high school is already hard enough.

I hope no one ever gets treated that way because it's one of those experiences that change you and the way you look at people.

The one time you did try to talk to me, was a year later. Again, it wasn't even an apology.

Math Teacher

You liked me at first… so not sure what happened… mid-life crisis perhaps? I will not forget the two incidents in your class.

First one:

I walked into your class with green pants and a white tank and a jean jacket. I remember this outfit because I took a picture in the bathroom, and I was so hot I wanted to pass out, but I couldn't take off my jacket because I was wearing a tank top.

I walked into class and you told me to go to dress code. Once I went, I was sent back to your classroom, because in fact, I didn't have dress code. You thought I was lying. I told you to call the front office, and you did. I felt so humiliated. First off, I was in a class with a bunch of sheltered smart kids, that probably already thought I was a weirdo. Then you spent the entire class on the phone with Ms. Gallegos arguing over my dress code.

(Maria Marrugo)

While you were on the phone I literally apologized to the entire class, because I clearly was distracting everyone with my tank top that did not show any skin, except for when I would stretch. Kezia and Kieran were in that class, you can ask them.

After that, you stood outside the classroom for the rest of the year, catching girls with dress code and sending them to the office. Dude, you lost it, you became obsessed. I honestly hope you got out of your funk, because you scared me.

Second:

This was the day after the whole dress code incident. I came into class and I sat down. Probably tried so hard not to look pretty or something. 15 minutes into lecture I pulled out my carrots, and you told me that "I couldn't eat in class." I almost laughed to your face, but you weren't joking. I looked around and everyone had food out. Kieran had a sandwich out and was eating it, and Mathew was eating a turkey sandwich, AND YOU HAD CHICK-FIL-A ON YOUR DESK WTF!! Honestly! I mean it's funny now, but at the moment, with all the shit I had going on, it actually made me insecure. What did I ever do?

Literature Teacher

(Maria Marrugo)

We were never really close. But you were nice to me, which was more than I received from my other teachers. I really enjoyed your class. There was always so much work to do, it kept me busy, distracted from my home problems.

You were always so nice, and never mean, even when I didn't know how to cite a source, you would just help.

Thank you. For the one time I had to do my presentation and you allowed me to go outside the library and cry it out. I walked in good as new, ready to kill my presentation. I probably did really poorly on it, but the fact that I even did it after the day I had, felt like a win.

History Teacher

I had 18 absences my junior year, which also happened to be my last year. I remember the week my mom was being psychotic, saying that if I "went out, she had a feeling I was going to die". Then she wanted me to throw away all my red and green clothes. In that moment I knew I had to get the fuck out of my house. I took some things to Shenica's. I felt like such a burden, I then called Antonia freaking out crying. Her parents then took me in, so I'm sorry if I wasn't going to class.

It's time Maria. Just go to class, pretend you're okay and go to Antonia's.

I walked into class. You stare at me and said, "moment of pause. Everyone give a hand to Maria for showing up to class this week". And everyone applauded. I laughed, but then during lunch I went to the bathroom and balled my eyes out. I didn't show up to class for the rest of the week.

Lieutenant Colonel

(Maria Marrugo)

The only teacher that apologized, perhaps it was the reason why I wanted to join ROTC after high school. Thank you for all you did. Always making sure I was okay, and pushing me to memorize my 15-count and stay on Raiders. Thank you for just being a human.

Mrs. Godley

Probably the reason why I tried to keep it together. I loved your class. Sometimes we would go off into tangents about life, the public school system, or chemistry.

You were never mean to me, and I'm not sure how, but I just had a feeling you understood. You were always so nice and cared so much about all your students. At that time, I knew I wanted that in my future. I wanted to be a wholesome person. You never judged me. No matter how much perfume I wore, or how late I was to class, even though I clearly left school and got Tropical Smoothie or Sushi Thai Too.

Thank you Mrs. Godley. I could never thank you enough, not in this lifetime, or in the next.