We were friends for a very long time, from childhood really. Young and dumb, we played in the streets together and did what kids do, running and causing trouble. At some point, we lost contact, barely ran into each other, had our own friends and belonged to totally different cliques. That is just how things were at the time. I had a huge crush all that time in childhood before I even knew what that meant. When I would see you in high school, I would feel it then too.

Fast forward many years and several life experiences later, our paths cross again. Neither of us had any intentions, just catching up with an old friend, sharing life stories and laughing about what used to be. But things changed, we had a connection and we acted on it. Things were intense, moved fast, we hung out, got serious and things were good for a while.

In the time we were together we made promises and memories. We had a good bit of time where things were amazing and wonderful, no fights, all shiny and happy. New love many call it, and that’s truly what it was. It was a lot of passion and newness for the both of us. One having just come from a really bad relationship, the other from a very long dry spell. In this given time, we thought we had it all figured out. We were on top of the world.

Things changed, just as people do. We became totally different people. Everything happened so fast, too fast, that we didn’t get the opportunities to really get to know who was beneath the surface of all that newness. It became clear, though we did not want to admit it for so long. We knew our compatibility was limited. Yes, we had several common interests. However, what we wanted in life and out of life were completely different.

So there came the downfall. The end of it all. Every argument worsened, every text got shorter. We just started falling out of the love we thought we had. Do I miss the love we shared in the beginning? All the fun, the memories? You bet I miss every one of those memories. They stay with me, dear to my heart still. It hasn’t been long since the end and I am still coping. I do not hurt every day. Some things will remind me of what once was. Some songs, movies, phrases come to mind…

As with everything, healing comes with time. I want you to know that I am learning to love myself again. I am focused. I am learning. We all are, after all. It was hard to catch myself at the end. You had told me all these things, but I do not really remember them. I am no longer as hurt as I was then. The hurt fogged my thinking, as it still would if I focused too much on it.

But why write this letter? IF I was truly over it I wouldn’t, right? It is all in the art of coping.

And to you, I bid farewell as I find my way through this twisted world. You were just one step closer to finding my TRUE one.