We Need to Put the past behind us

To My Grandmother

We really need to end the hatred, we are only wasting time.

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This May will mark two years since my Grandfather's funeral in 2017. My Grandparents divorced in the 1980s and to my knowledge never communicated again except for custody or regarding their children, my mother, Kim, and her younger brother, J.R.

When I was about ten my mother took me on a week-long trip to San Antonio, Texas to visit my grandfather Donnie Reed and his second wife, my Grandma Pat. I had never remembered visiting them prior to that trip. We were able to see what my grandfather did for a living prior to his retirement and even visit his closed mechanic shop. We visited Bandera, TX with my grandfather also that week, The "Cowboy Capitol of The World". I also got to visit several museums in western life and early Texas history. I am still thankful that I was able to go to Texas to visit my Grandfather when he was in somewhat good health.

In 2017 my grandfather succumbed to cancer at an early age and passed, alone in a Texas nursing home. No one should have to die alone, my grandfather, however, was worse than the nursing staff believed, and he was not expected to die early. My Uncle lived within 30 miles of my grandfather's house, but they did not communicate for various reasons.

In 2010 when my Grandma Pat passed away, I was on a School Honor Band trip in Troy, Alabama. I was not able to attend the funeral of pay respects. My mother, however, did attend. After that trip, my mother began convincing my grandfather to come to Alabama some to visit his last remaining relatives and attend their family reunions. In May of 2011, he came to Alabama for 1 month, he returned in October of 2011. He did the same for 2012. In 2013-2015 he came for just the May visit.

I am thankful for those years he was able to come and visit to build a relationship with my family. I have only had one biological grandfather growing up, that being my maternal grandfather. My paternal grandfather passed two years before my birth. I also had a maternal great-grandfather, he was the one I was closest to. I have even joined the Masonic Lodge in his honor because the type of life he lived. He loved his family and was a strong family leader...

Getting to the point of this article, In 2017 when I went to Texas with my parents. We had to handle the funeral and final affairs of my grandfather. My grandmother made snickering remarks to my mother on the phone the entire trip. She did not provide condolences as you would expect when someone experiences death. Especially your own daughter who has just lost her father.

Because of my constructed relationship with my grandfather, I decided to eulogize him at his funeral. It was not perfect by any means, but he was not a perfect man. We all have faulted his, however, were highlighted throughout my life multiple times by one person. My grandmother.

Your divorce was not a product of my generation, I did not need to know the reasons upon your marriage to my grandfather dissolved. I needed two grandparents, not one assumed perfect one who pointed fingers at the less than perfect one. I should not have had to hear the horror stories that you lived.

In his later years, my grandfather changed. He became deeply religious, he gave to many religious groups including pro-life organizations. He even volunteered at the Veterans Hospital near his home.

When my your brother, my uncle Dave, spoke to you about the funeral, you laughed. You laughed at the fact that I spoke. I still cannot comprehend the reasons you did not want me to have a relationship with my grandfather.

I have forgiven you though. I will not live in the past with your choices.

When you called me names on Mother's Day 2017 I left your house.

I have forgiven you, but I will not condone being disrespected,

When you said that my Uncle JR should have received my grandfather's funeral flag, I was bewildered.

How can you receive a funeral flag if you were not at the funeral?

Time is wasting. I miss the grandmother I had prior to 2017.

When you decide to speak to me other than asking for something, I'll be here.

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Me Saying I Don't Watch 'Game of Thrones' Is NOT Your Cue To Convince Me To Start

"Once you've accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you."

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Yes, I have flaws. We all do. But it seems as if though my biggest flaw is that I have never seen "Games of Thrones." Nope, not even one single second. I don't know why I haven't seen it, it's not that I'm particularly against the show. I guess it's just too late now for me to start it, as the premiere of the eighth and final season aired April 14th. And for some reason, I just feel that I'm too far behind to even attempt to start it.

But please, I beg of you, do not try to get me to watch it. I don't want to; I've made my decision that I have missed the "Game of Thrones" train and I have accepted my fate. It's OK, you can use your heavy TV series persuasion on someone else, don't waste it on me.

But not being a Thronie (I have no idea if you "Game of Thrones" fans actually use that term, but it's fine) comes with its own set of hardships. Yes, I know that missing out on "unquestionably the most acclaimed and beloved show on television" is probably the greatest hardship, I know, I know.

But trying to scroll through social media while seemingly every single person on my feed is posting about the show? Now that's hard. I see memes left and right, constant reaction videos, clips of scenes that I will never understand. I see people being shocked by certain characters doing certain things to certain other characters and I just cannot understand! It's tough, it really is. I feel like I'm in elementary school, sitting on the bench beside the playground watching all of the cool kids playing together. I feel excluded and uninvited to the party that is the "Game of Thrones" fandom.

It really is hard. It's difficult not understanding the jokes and comments about all the happenings in "Game of Thrones." But to those who are obsessed avid watchers, I apologize. I sincerely am sorry that I can never understand your "Game of Thrones" talk. I am sorry that my inferior self is not interested in your favorite show.

As some character that I will never know in "Game of Thrones" says, "once you've accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you." I have accepted that my major flaw is the fact that I have never seen "Game of Thrones" and that I, unfortunately, have no interest in watching. So please, don't use it against me. Besides, that one character that I don't even know said that you can't anyway.

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10 Billie Eilish Songs That Will Change Your Life

Some of my personal favorites as well as fan favorites

MeganO
MeganO
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I only recently started listening to Billie Eilish but it didn't take much for me to fall in love with her amazing voice, and sound. Eilish just released a new album 'WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?' It is pure, raw poetry transformed into music.

She has dominated the music industry in such a short amount of time, and her success speaks for itself and how great her music is. These are some of her best songs that are undeniably great.

1. Bad guy

2. Xanny

3. Lovely (with Khalid)

Giphy

4. Ocean eyes

5. My strange addiction

6. Bury a friend

7. All the good girls go to hell

8. COPYCAT

9. Bellyache

10. Idontwannabeyouanymore

MeganO
MeganO

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