An Open Letter To An Old Friend

An Open Letter To An Old Friend

Look in the mirror before you judge.
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It has been a long time since I saw you. I looked for you on Facebook but you aren't on there. When we met, we were both working at a place that not many people would be a able to work at. We bonded over that. We both seemed to love the children. You didn't stay very long.....maybe a year.

We remained friends for a few years after. You were in a serious relationship. I was not. You found your one true love. I did not.

You never seemed to understand what that was like for me. All I wanted was to find someone who appreciated me like he appreciated you. I tried to find it in the obvious place....one of his friends and your housemate, but when he turned out to be one of the most selfish human beings I have ever met (and the most intelligent, I might add) You had absolutely no empathy for me whatsoever! You hung up the phone on me when I called you the night we broke up. You insisted that I come to a party a week later that he was going to be at with his new girlfriend. He was most likely cheating on me with her.

I showed up with a guy I was just friends with. I acted like I was dating him because I knew that my ex would be there. As it turned out, his new girlfriend didn't show up and my friend wanted to be more than just friends.

In the past, I was never friends with any of my boyfriend's friends so once we broke up, I really never saw them again. This time it was different! You were supposedly my best friend yet you never wanted to come to my apartment. I never understood why. Things were better when my ex moved out of the house that you rented, but there were times when we had plans, I would go to your house and suddenly we were going to his new place.

I handled it all pretty good, considering. I never got angry...until that night that I will never understand to this day! Your boyfriend was away for work and you wanted to go to NYC. You called me and asked me if I wanted to go. I was very excited.

You and I had not gone out alone in a long time. I arrived at your house and my ex-boyfriend was there, He was going with us! You didn't tell me that he was coming with us but I went with no complaints. We had a great time walking around the city all day until we got to the Limelight. We got separated. I looked everywhere for you. I decided to dance with random people. It started to get late. The two of you disappeared and didn't bother to look for me. I spotted you but I didn't go over to you. I continued dancing. I danced for a long time with some random guy. I was having a blast even though my ex boyfriend and my best friend were huddled in a dark corner in a booth.

I did not care about him,it was you! It was you who hurt me! It hurt me a lot at the time because I was friends with your boyfriend too. You drove him crazy with your jealousy even though he worshiped the ground you walked on. I couldn't understand why you would think that it was OK to behave the way you did after everything you put him through? He could never talk to another girl or even look at another girl without you getting jealous. Meanwhile a few months before, my ex boyfriend actually had a fight with him because he would not allow a pretty girl to move into one of the five bedrooms in the house that you rented because of your jealousy. It was my ex's way of protesting, Although he had talked about moving out for a while.

Now here you were whispering and flirting with someone who betrayed me and your boyfriend. I was so angry that I just left. I took the train home by myself and you had the nerve to call me to ask to pick you up from the train station. I confronted you the next day and you acted like you didn't care and that you didn't do anything wrong. If the situation was reversed, you probably would've never spoken to me again.

You were so funny and we had a lot of great times doing unusual things together. Everything you were interested in back then seemed new to me. The music, the clothes and even the cigarettes you smoked. I thought you were so "avant garde". You were not like anyone I had ever met. It felt like I had finally met a group of friends that I fit in with perfectly. It felt like I went away to college and you, your boyfriend, my ex and Tara were my college buddies. We had the craziest parties, played the funniest games and drank the cheapest, most disgusting beer. Since most of my high school friends had gone away to college and they all met new friends that they experienced their new lives with, I felt like I missed out on something really special until then.

You had your issues.....we,all did but you never seemed to judge Tara the way you judged me. Tara made some of the same foolish mistakes that I made. She made them right under your nose because you lived under the same roof, but you always seemed to see her side of things. You never questioned whether she was lying about some of the things she did even though you were right there and didn't see them happen.

Some of my experiences were similar to yours but that did not mean that I was lying or trying to copy you in some childish way. They were not good experiences and were certainly nothing to brag about. They were hard learning experiences that anyone could have had. Why would I Iie about something so personal to someone who I considered to be my best friend? If I was going to lie, wouldn't it make more sense if it was about something good, that I was proud of? You already knew my deepest darkest secrets. What would I have to gain?

Cover Image Credit: Wallpaper Up

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​An Open Letter To The People Who Don’t Tip Their Servers

This one's for you.
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Dear Person Who Has No Idea How Much The 0 In The “Tip:" Line Matters,

I want to by asking you a simple question: Why?

Is it because you can't afford it? Is it because you are blind to the fact that the tip you leave is how the waiter/waitress serving you is making their living? Is it because you're just lazy and you “don't feel like it"?

Is it because you think that, while taking care of not only your table but at least three to five others, they took too long bringing you that side of ranch dressing? Or is it just because you're unaware that as a server these people make $2.85 an hour plus TIPS?

The average waiter/waitress is only supposed to be paid $2.13 an hour plus tips according to the U.S. Department of Labor.

That then leaves the waiter/waitress with a paycheck with the numbers **$0.00** and the words “Not a real paycheck." stamped on it. Therefore these men and women completely rely on the tips they make during the week to pay their bills.

So, with that being said, I have a few words for those of you who are ignorant enough to leave without leaving a few dollars in the “tip:" line.

Imagine if you go to work, the night starts off slow, then almost like a bomb went off the entire workplace is chaotic and you can't seem to find a minute to stop and breathe, let alone think about what to do next.

Imagine that you are helping a total of six different groups of people at one time, with each group containing two to 10 people.

Imagine that you are working your ass off to make sure that these customers have the best experience possible. Then you cash them out, you hand them a pen and a receipt, say “Thank you so much! It was a pleasure serving you, have a great day!"

Imagine you walk away to attempt to start one of the 17 other things you need to complete, watch as the group you just thanked leaves, and maybe even wave goodbye.

Imagine you are cleaning up the mess that they have so kindly left behind, you look down at the receipt and realize there's a sad face on the tip line of a $24.83 bill.

Imagine how devastated you feel knowing that you helped these people as much as you could just to have them throw water on the fire you need to complete the night.

Now, realize that whenever you decide not to tip your waitress, this is nine out of 10 times what they go through. I cannot stress enough how important it is for people to realize that this is someone's profession — whether they are a college student, a single mother working their second job of the day, a new dad who needs to pay off the loan he needed to take out to get a safer car for his child, your friend, your mom, your dad, your sister, your brother, you.

If you cannot afford to tip, do not come out to eat. If you cannot afford the three alcoholic drinks you gulped down, plus your food and a tip do not come out to eat.

If you cannot afford the $10 wings that become half-off on Tuesdays plus that water you asked for, do not come out to eat.

If you cannot see that the person in front of you is working their best to accommodate you, while trying to do the same for the other five tables around you, do not come out to eat. If you cannot realize that the man or woman in front of you is a real person, with their own personal lives and problems and that maybe these problems have led them to be the reason they are standing in front of you, then do not come out to eat.

As a server myself, it kills me to see the people around me being deprived of the money that they were supposed to earn. It kills me to see the three dollars you left on a $40 bill. It kills me that you cannot stand to put yourself in our shoes — as if you're better than us. I wonder if you realize that you single-handedly ruined part of our nights.

I wonder if maybe one day you will be in our shoes, and I hope to God no one treats you how you have treated us. But if they do, then maybe you'll realize how we felt when you left no tip after we gave you our time.

Cover Image Credit: Hailea Shallock

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How Staying At Home During College Affected My Friendships

The impacts that leaving high school has on friendships.

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Instead of going away for college, I stayed home. I didn't think much of it in the beginning, but as time went on, I realized that the decision of me staying home was going to affect me much more than I anticipated.

At first, I thought I could make it work, still visiting friends in college every weekend, texting everyone, and Snapchatting. It wasn't too hard to keep in contact with high school friends because high school was so fresh in our minds. The longer I was home, the more friends my high school friends started to make.

They'd be out partying every night with all these new people and posting about them, and I started to feel like I was being replaced. It was sad because these friends who I've been friends with for at least five years are now best friends with other people. The only reason why was because I was at home. It sucks.

At first, I was really bothered by the fact that my friendships were starting to get more distant as time went on. But then, I started to get used to the feeling and facing the reality that you won't always stay friends with people throughout your whole life.

Realizing that some friends aren't always meant to be your friend forever was a hard adjustment for me to make. I always grew up with the same group of friends. We're all close with each other and close with each other's parents. In my case, everything got more awkward the longer we were out of high school.

We had to pretend to seem like it wasn't awkward meeting up for the first time in months... when it was. It was definitely a hard thing to realize, but it's a good thing that there are a lot of people in the world to be friends with.

I know that I'll always have other people to be friends with in life, so I try not to sweat the little things. Hang in there if you're going through the same thing, I know it's hard.

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