There was a point in my life where you were there, you were involved. Now that's just a distant memory. But the worst part is, is that you blame me for the way things are. Blaming the child is an easy way to not own up to your mistakes.

You blame me for our abandoned relationship but to me that's something friends say to one another, not a parent to a child. You say that I should reach out more, that I should be the bigger person, but why is it my responsibility to apologize for a mistake that I haven't made? It was not my choice that you stopped coming around. I was not the one who chose just about everything else over their parenting duties.

It's not my fault that I kept going with my life and trying not to dwell on things I cannot change. I cannot change that you abandoned all responsibilities of me and really any ties to me. I am your only child, I am your only descendent. Why do you prefer to act like I do not exist?

Do you tell anyone about me?

Do you even tell anyone that you have a child?

I understand that it's easier to make an excuse than fix the problem and just say that it's all my fault. But I don't feel that a child should be an excuse. And how can it be my fault that you decided to have nothing to do with me? Own up to the fact that you dropped the ball and fix it.

I will no longer be the scapegoat to our family of why we don't have a relationship. I will no longer take the back lash and look like the bad one. I'm sick of making excuses of why you're not around and ignoring all the things you do behind closed doors. You chose bad habits over me.

I'm almost done with college and I'm pretty sure if someone asked you what my major was, you wouldn't know what to tell them. You definitely have no idea when I graduate or what my future plans are.

I'm sick of feeling like I could have done something differently when in reality I did nothing wrong, and it has taken many years for me to come to the realization of that. I am not capable of making a parent care for me and care about my well being. They have to want to do that all on their own.

I will no longer take the blame and let you make me feel like it's all my fault. I will no longer hope and wish for the day that you will apologize and care again and take back all the cruel things you have said to me. I know that day will never happen.

I know you don't think about me or worry, but I promise you, I'll be just fine.