Recent events have made me realize there are a lot of people I don’t keep in contact with anymore. This letter is for them.
Long time no see. I’m sorry it’s been so long since we last spoke. I hope you’re doing well. I’m sure you’ve been just as busy as I have.
It’s crazy, isn’t it? The last time we saw each other, we were still in high school, or just beginning college, or about to get our degrees. We were tight as ever! I have albums saved away of our adventures. As embarrassing as it is to see what outfits and haircuts we thought were “hot” and “grown up,” I enjoy reliving it all. I remember spending entire summers at some of your houses. Your parents had pretty much become my own. As we grew older, or if we met when we were older, we still shared our lives in other ways; Texting every day, sending each other silly Snapchats, having poke wars on Facebook. We were always in some sort of contact with each other.
And now, we’ve moved on. We’ve grown apart and have started our own lives. You’ve met people, made friends, and started a new set of adventures. You’ve replaced me, but that’s alright. I can’t say I haven’t done the same. Honestly, I’m proud of you for it. I’m excited about everything you’re going to accomplish. And I miss you.
Well, some of you.
There’s a set of people who I’ve lost contact with, friends and otherwise, who I don’t miss. Not even a bit. And I was just as close to these people as I was to those who I do miss. But to those who I don’t miss, to you, I need you to know that I don’t hate you.
I can’t say where it started, exactly. Whether it was while we were still friends, while we were drifting apart, or long after we lost contact with each other, I realized that something was… off. That something was different for each of you.
You decided that your opinion was the only one that mattered. You ended up in a toxic relationship and didn’t want out. You thought teasing was the same thing as playful banter. You made me feel like garbage. You started doing drugs. You didn’t want to grow up.
I stopped loving you.
Whatever the reason was, I can wholeheartedly say that my life is better without you, not necessarily because of your absence, but because of what I learned from knowing you and letting go.
I had to learn to stand up for myself.
I had to learn that people are going to walk a different path than me.
I had to learn I don’t mean something to everyone.
I had to learn that I can’t save everyone.
It was hard to let go of some of you, easier for others. Regardless of which, letting you go was one of the best things I could’ve ever done for myself. For that, I should say, “Thank you”.
Thank you for helping me figure out what I want and who I don’t want to be. Thank you for the “adventures” that I’m glad I’ll never have to go on again. Thank you for the texts that I know I’ll never have to read again. Thank you for the albums of photographs I get to delete or throw away. Thank you for letting me replace you.
I’m excited about everything I’m going to accomplish.
And I don’t miss you.