Hey Princess,
How've you been doing lately? Has school been going well? Have you been taking care of yourself, darling?
I know it's hard these days, scrolling through Instagram to see the endless stream of Date Night and engagement photos. Opening the mailbox and seeing a beautiful envelope holding a wedding invitation has become a norm, especially during this season of life where the age group seems to be spilt into three groups: married, about to be, and single. I know you're happy to go to the weddings, and even more so, you're thrilled that your friends are finding the loves of their life, but like myself, you can't help but feel jealous that you're "nowhere close" to where they are. Hell, you struggled to even find a date to come to the wedding. I know it's rough, people are trying to set you up, trying to find you a match...as if you haven't been trying. You didn't even care so much until people starting bringing it up, why are you being down on yourself? Why do you think it's so important now?
I have just a few things to tell you, because trust me, I am the girl who cared too much, I am the girl who thought she was a spinster at the old age of 21-years old. The oldest a woman in my crazy family has gotten married is 21, it's just what we do. I have grown up around such abundant love, and I have wanted nothing more than to bring someone into my life to share this love with. It's never been society telling me that I need to find my husband, it's been my family, and more than that, it's been myself. This desire to find a partner has caused me to make an endless list of mistakes when it comes to dating, and when the mistakes inevitability ends in separation, I spend the next three months going over and over in my head all things I could've done differently. It sucks, it really sucks, because I don't want you to get to the point that I did. I don't want you to get to the point where you feel like no other aspect of yourself but your relationship status matters.
They do. As a matter of fact, your relationship status is one of the aspects that matters the least! You're a dancer, you're someone who sings too loud in the shower, you're a kickass student, you're a good listener. You're the person someone looks up to. You're a caring sister, a wonderful daughter, and the kind of friend a friend would want to have. You're brilliant, thoughtful, and have so much more potential than you could imagine. There is nothing about you that is keeping you from finding the love that you are so worthy to receive. Everything in its due season, that's what I tell myself about everything.
Right now is the time for you to get your degree, the time for you to learn about yourself, to learn what you want. Right now may be the time to think about your career, to connect yourself with the world, to connect yourself to the universe. The best advice I've ever gotten was when I was told to stop looking for a husband in every man I meet, that as soon as I truly become comfortable with being single, that will be the time that I find my match. That's a big order, especially for me, but I believe it's true.
Your man is out there, your season will come, but until then, love yourself. A flower doesn't dream of the bee. It blossoms, and the bee comes.
Lovingly and supportively beside you,
Athena, the girl who has had enough of dreaming of bees.