To The One Who Walked Away From Me

To The One Who Walked Away From Me

Just a few things you should know.
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You said goodbye, and that's fair. It's your decision.

You should know I respect your decision regardless of how much I don't understand it.

I am hurt yes, very hurt and you probably know that and that doesn't change a thing, which really really sucks to think about.

You should know I am not sad 24-7,the thought of us being together and the good old days kind of off-set me, but I am still living my life and going through my daily routine just fine, and getting better day by day.

Every now and then I see something that reminds me of you, or I remember something about us like an inside joke, and I want to tell you about it so we can laugh about it just like good old times and be the funny goofy people that we were, but then I remember I can't.

Things are different now, they are weird. We have to be honest — it's weird going from talking to each other every day to now never speaking. It's weird not seeing each other and it's weird that our daily routines have changed solely because of our relationship status. It's weird that it has to be like this, in my opinion, it doesn’t, but I know it's probably for the best.

You should know the image of us is harder for me to just "erase." I could delete the pictures of us and pretend like we never happened, but I can't. The pictures we took hold special memories to me and I know they did to you too. There's no reason to try to forget about something that once made you happy. There're pictures in my mind of us too, and how we were and how I thought it all was supposed to be, the happy times, the times in that moment when I thought there was no greater feeling than that undeniable bond we had.

I wish I had a better explanation of why things had to end and you owe me that, but I've come to terms that I'll probably never get that. Just know the way it ended was pretty selfish of you, I know it and you should too. One day you'll realize it but I won't need an explanation then.

You should know you're stupid for walking away. I forgave you for so much, I let you put me through hurt because I knew how we used to be and I didn't want to lose you or the special relationship we once had. I let you into my life and showed you all of my flaws and let you know all of my secrets. We got to know each other on a level no one else has seen us before, and that took a lot out of me but now it's all over and we have to act like those things never happened.

You should know that I don't stop thinking about you and I want nothing but the best for you. I know I don’t get to hear about what goes on in your life, but I wish I could. I wish I could hear you're doing good, you should know I hope you are.

You should know just because it's over doesn’t mean we have to hate each other. I know we may never talk again and that's your preference. We may hear things about each other that we don’t want to hear, they may hurt. But regardless of anything, I would love to still be somewhat a part of your life, because you meant a lot to me. If you ever did feel like reaching out to me again know I would be here, if anything just to listen. We've been through it all and I would go through it all again just to be there for you.

You should know one day we'll both look back at this all and find some sort of peace or lesson of why this all had to happen, but for now, thanks for giving me the good times and thanks for giving me a reason to see there will be better times.


Goodbye!

Cover Image Credit: Sierra Gardner

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Want To Be A Better Boyfriend? Try These 5 Tricks

4. Listen to her.

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Some days, it seems like girlfriends are constantly asking for more, and while they may be annoying, there are a few simple ways to stop her nagging and win her praise.

1. Pay attention to her.

I promise you, she is dropping hints every day. These may sound like "Awh, look at all the pretty flowers" or "I haven't been to Boba House in so long!"

2. Plan dates. 

Text her while she is at school or work, and tell her to be ready when you get home or by a certain time. Give her an idea of how dressed up she should be, but don't tell her where you're going. Then, take her to her favorite restaurant, one she's mentioned lately, or to a new movie she'd been looking forward to!

3. Pick up small gifts for her.

This doesn't have to be anything expensive, but next time you're at the grocery store pick up her favorite candy, or a small flower bouquet. Just something little that will show her you were thinking of her when you weren't together.

4. Listen to her. 

Ask about her day, and when she tells you what Sarah did at work, ask her the next day or a few days later if things got better. Take interest in her life and remind her occasionally refer back to old topics to prove you do listen.

5. Get her involved in your interests.

It doesn't all have to be about her! Ask her to watch the game with you, or to go out with you to hang with your friends. She wants to be just as involved in your life as she wants you to be involved in hers!

At the end of the day, every relationship is different. Take this advice as vaguely as needed, and learn your partner and what they expect from you! Happy dating! :)

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I Wasted 8 Months Of My Life On A Boy Who Didn't Care So You Don't Have To

Learn from me, ladies.

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Let's be honest with ourselves: Endings suck.

The end of friendships, relationships, and other emotional ties is almost never a clean break, no matter how hard you try to make it one. Once things end, you start trying to figure out where things went wrong.

Was it you? Was it them? Could you have fixed it?

The simple answer to all of those is no. It's no one's fault, and no amount of make-up sex or talking it out could have fixed it.

The messy answer, however, is yes. Sometimes someone is to blame. Sometimes we're dumb enough to think talking and sex and whatever else can fix it. I said no was the simple answer, remember?

Let me tell you a little story. I spent eight months of my life developing feelings for a boy. I use the term boy in all seriousness because no man would let something like this carry on for so long. I was envisioning a future with this guy, planning it in the solace of my own space, making jokes to him about how I couldn't wait to graduate college to begin this life, wherever it may take us. I had my qualms and little moments where things seemed off, but we'd spend the night together and then suddenly, quickly, things were perfect again.

Was it because I was physical with him that things would go from mediocre to perfect? Yes. Was I smart enough to figure that out before it was too late? No.

This carried on for a while because I let it. He would go days without speaking to me, which carried into weeks, and I would allow him to continue the cycle because I would come back every time, more eager than before. He made me happy. When things were good, they were good. That was enough.

I looked passed all the bullshit for a few good evenings here and there for eight months. When things came to an abrupt halt, he put the blame on me for pushing him into something he wasn't ready for.

Now, let's talk about my mistakes:

Should it have been red flag number one that he wouldn't make time for me except at night? Yes.

Should I have felt that any of the bad emotional experiences that happened were my fault? No.

Did I care for him so much that I stupidly looked beyond all of the bad stuff? Yes.

From one girl to another, don't make the mistakes I did. The right guy won't let things go on for months only to hurt you in the end. The right guy won't give you a few good moments amongst times of questioning everything. Instead, while every moment won't be happy and serene, the majority of them will.

If you spend more time worrying about fitting into the mold he wants you to be instead of being yourself, he's not the one.

If he acts like he doesn't care, he doesn't care.

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