You said goodbye, and that's fair. It's your decision.
You should know I respect your decision regardless of how much I don't understand it.
I am hurt yes, very hurt and you probably know that and that doesn't change a thing, which really really sucks to think about.
You should know I am not sad 24-7,the thought of us being together and the good old days kind of off-set me, but I am still living my life and going through my daily routine just fine, and getting better day by day.
Every now and then I see something that reminds me of you, or I remember something about us like an inside joke, and I want to tell you about it so we can laugh about it just like good old times and be the funny goofy people that we were, but then I remember I can't.
Things are different now, they are weird. We have to be honest — it's weird going from talking to each other every day to now never speaking. It's weird not seeing each other and it's weird that our daily routines have changed solely because of our relationship status. It's weird that it has to be like this, in my opinion, it doesn’t, but I know it's probably for the best.
You should know the image of us is harder for me to just "erase." I could delete the pictures of us and pretend like we never happened, but I can't. The pictures we took hold special memories to me and I know they did to you too. There's no reason to try to forget about something that once made you happy. There're pictures in my mind of us too, and how we were and how I thought it all was supposed to be, the happy times, the times in that moment when I thought there was no greater feeling than that undeniable bond we had.
I wish I had a better explanation of why things had to end and you owe me that, but I've come to terms that I'll probably never get that. Just know the way it ended was pretty selfish of you, I know it and you should too. One day you'll realize it but I won't need an explanation then.
You should know you're stupid for walking away. I forgave you for so much, I let you put me through hurt because I knew how we used to be and I didn't want to lose you or the special relationship we once had. I let you into my life and showed you all of my flaws and let you know all of my secrets. We got to know each other on a level no one else has seen us before, and that took a lot out of me but now it's all over and we have to act like those things never happened.
You should know that I don't stop thinking about you and I want nothing but the best for you. I know I don’t get to hear about what goes on in your life, but I wish I could. I wish I could hear you're doing good, you should know I hope you are.
You should know just because it's over doesn’t mean we have to hate each other. I know we may never talk again and that's your preference. We may hear things about each other that we don’t want to hear, they may hurt. But regardless of anything, I would love to still be somewhat a part of your life, because you meant a lot to me. If you ever did feel like reaching out to me again know I would be here, if anything just to listen. We've been through it all and I would go through it all again just to be there for you.
You should know one day we'll both look back at this all and find some sort of peace or lesson of why this all had to happen, but for now, thanks for giving me the good times and thanks for giving me a reason to see there will be better times.