Dear you,

I don't know where to start. I guess I just feel kind of lost right now. I haven't written in months. I don't know the words, just the feelings that I have towards you. I once loved you with everything in me, I saw our future together, I watched your dreams become a reality. I also witnessed another side of you that hurt me so deeply that some days I found myself slipping into a never ending abyss of darkness. I'm not writing this to gain pity or in hopes that you come back to me. I'm writing this in hopes to find the closure I need and deserve to forgive myself, heal my broken heart, and grow through this experience. I'm writing this for myself whether you disagree with what I am about to say.

I want to start by saying thank you...

Thank you for the nights you were my escape from my crazy, stressful life. You picked me up and made me feel beautiful. You were my anchor. I could come to you with anything and I felt life slow down just enough for me to turn to you and feel grateful for where I was in this life with you.

Thank you for helping me realize that I need to love myself before anyone else can. I've started a journey on self-love. I do things for myself now and nobody else. I put myself first and have accepted my flaws. I have set goals and I plan to accomplish all of them on my own.

Thank you for helping me recognize that my feelings are valid. Without you, I wouldn't have realized that my feelings do matter. I deserve to be somebody's priority and I deserve someone who respects my feelings and takes them into consideration.

Next, I want to tell you that I forgive you...

I forgive you for finding someone else. I want you to be happy. Just because I wasn't who you were meant to be with doesn't mean I resent you for finding better. If there's anything I learned in my 20 years of living it's that you just have to be happy.

I forgive you for the things you said and the things you didn't say. Whether it was a compliment or something to offend me, it's in the past. I'll cherish the good words and bury the negative words in hopes they grow and bloom to become something beautiful. The things you didn't say were words never meant for me and because of that, I have learned patience. Things will carry out the way they are meant to.

I forgive you for being selfish and putting yourself first. After doing the same, I have realized that sometimes people need to focus on themselves and truly find who they are. This has helped me realize who truly loves me, cares for me, and wants to be in my life.

Last but not least..

This new year has felt ongoing for a thousand years old, but everyday I wake up and appreciate the world around me. As I said before, I am doing things for myself. I am so grateful for who I am and this new found love I have for myself. Whether you want to recognize any of my feelings or not, that is your choice, but I am finally happy. Some days I find myself thinking back to who we were and all the memories I will hold in my heart, but then I recognize all this life I have to conquer right in front of me and I feel determined. I uncovered a strength inside of me that I never knew I had. I'm thankful for the journey you took me on but I am even more thankful to finally start my own journey.

Xoxo,

me