The stigma behind mental health is the main reason those with mental health disorders don’t reach out. But the stigma behind depression is probably one of the worst out there. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety about a year and a half ago, but I’ve been suffering for well over 10 years. Those with depression are scared to reach out and most don’t. But, if we do reach out it is because we have reached a point where we can’t take care of ourselves anymore but want help. For those fortunate to not be diagnosed with a mental health disorder, this is for you. Here are 5 things those with depression would love to tell you but can’t:
1: Depression does not always have obvious symptoms.
Most people think that being depressed means that someone is sad every second of every day. It is more than that. Depression makes someone feel empty inside; as if there is absolutely nothing in their chest. Depression makes someone addicted to their bed even though he/she can’t sleep. Those diagnosed with Depression put on the strongest front because they feel like a burden for talking about what is going on inside their head. Some warning signs for depression include: excessive sleeping/not sleeping at all, excessive drinking, drug abuse, self-harm, being closed off, flaking on plans, and many more.
2: Depression is not a choice.
This one is important. Let me repeat it: Depression is not a choice. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain where someone’s brain can’t produce enough serotonin which is the hormone that is associated with happiness. Serotonin is made from melatonin which is the hormone that induces sleep. If one’s body isn’t producing enough melatonin, then the body can’t convert it to serotonin. This is why people with depression are so tired yet can’t sleep. See how simple depression really is once it is scientifically explained? So, please, the next time you want to tell someone with depression to “stop being sad all the time,” don’t. This isn’t what they want to be feeling either, but they literally can’t help it.
3: We are always suicidal.
Yes, it is true. We put on a brave face, leave the house, go to school, go to work…basically we are functioning adults, yet we are always wondering if everyone would be better off without us in their lives. However, just because we are always suicidal doesn’t mean we are always ready to commit to it. Our depression is telling us one thing, but we are constantly fighting with depression by continuing to live.
4: All we want is your patience and support.
Look, we understand that you have no idea what is going on inside of our minds. Most of the time, we don’t understand it either. We’re just used to it. It takes a lot of patience on your end to help us open up. But if we come to you, please don’t judge us. If we stay in bed all day, please don’t get mad and call us lazy. If we cancel plans last minute, please don’t make us feel bad about it because we already feel horrible. And please don’t tell us to “relax” or that “others have it worse than you.” We want to feel wanted. We want to feel like we matter because our depression is yelling at us that we don’t and never will.
5: Finally, don’t be scared to ask us questions.
The closer we feel to someone, the more open we are willing to be. The better the chances are of lessening the feeling of being suicidal because someone wants to know what it is like for us. Someone cares and they express that they sincerely care. It does wonders for us. As much as we feel like a burden talking to others, we want to talk about things in order to end the awful stigma behind mental health. The more people who take the time to understand depression will help those with depression feel like they can begin their journey of recovery which then lessens the suicide rate.
In the end, the stigma behind mental health disorders is really based off of one word: disorders. People hear “disorder” and immediately associate it with adjectives like “psychotic”, “crazy”, and “delusional” and that needs to stop. We might not be “normal” people, but we are doing our best every day
If you have depression or a mental health disorder:
You matter.
You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.
You are loved.
You are wanted.
Suicide is never the answer.
If you are feeling strong urges or thoughts to self-harm and/or commit suicide, please call The Suicide Hotline. Free, confidential help is available 24/7. You are not alone.