Dear ___,

Hi.

I hope you're doing well. I can't pretend I don't know what you're doing these days, because sometimes I still check. Friends will bring up your name, but it doesn't phase me anymore. Your name finally doesn't make me have to run to the bathroom. However, it will never be a name I forget.

All the late nights, followed by skipping class to go get breakfast or sleep in, and every song you use to rap every word to: memories that wont fade in the next 10 years. What else wont fade is the first real fight we had, slamming doors just to fall down and cry behind them as soon as you left. I was never the one to cry, much less over a silly boy.

You weren't my first heartbreak, but it was the first heartbreak I didn't think I could recover from.

It was a pain I had never felt before, and never wanted to again. Everything reminded me of you. I could hear a song on the radio, and wish you were next to me singing along. There were days I didn't want to get out of bed, I just wanted you to magically appear and make it all better. If someone asked me if we had spoken recently, I wanted to throw up. I blocked you on all forms of social media, because I couldn't handle to see you being happy while I was still trying to put my heart back together.

What made this heartbreak the worse was, it was one-sided.

You never felt the pain. You never missed a beat. I was crushed on the floor, and you were only focused on who you were taking home tonight.

Now, almost an entire year later.

I'm sorry for calling you until you answered...a lot. I'm sorry for trying to make you feel the way I did.

But, at the same time. I want to thank you for teaching me some of the hardest lessons I have ever had to learn on my own.

The pain you created inside of me, made me who I am. I'm stronger, I stand taller, more importantly I know I deserve better than someone like you.

While you were once exactly what I thought I wanted, I now know what I deserve which is so much better than you.

Sincerely,

The girl who once let you win