Dear Pro-Choicer,

With all of the talk about Planned Parenthood and abortion lately, I’ve taken a long look at my own view on the matter. I was raised Catholic, so I blindly accepted the concept of pro-life. Killing babies is wrong! But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve been looking at issues and forming my own opinions, not based on the religion I was raised around, but based on my own moral compass. Through this, I’ve learned that the topic of abortion isn’t a clear-cut issue- it’s actually incredibly complicated. Because, while I see abortion as killing a living being, some people don’t have that same point of view. So, yes, I myself am pro-life, but it is unfair for me to say that I don’t understand the pro-choice argument.

I’ve found that the issue of abortion is an issue of definition, not an issue of specific argument. The discord is not due to a disagreement of argument—pro-life vs. pro-choice vs. all the gray areas in between. Our arguments don’t differ on the basis of abortion specifically—many of us have the same goal of equality, happiness, and fairness for all. The problem arises when we try to define life. What is life? Does life start at conception, birth, or somewhere in between? These questions provide an explanation for why topics like abortion are so touchy.

Let me give you my definition of "life:" Life begins at the moment of conception. Keep in mind that that’s my personal view as you read this. I read pro-choice articles and, in my mind, I have to remind myself that the person views abortion this way because he or she believes that the life of the fetus has not started yet. Abortion, to this person, is not the killing of a living being, but of cells that have yet to be truly brought to life. That distinction makes all the difference in the world.

In an ideal world, everyone would agree and there would be no disconnect on the definition of life. Life would mean one thing or the opposite. There is no set standard for us, and even if there were a set standard, not everyone would agree. Clearly, we don’t live in an ideal world, so how can we ever come to a conclusion about the definition of life?

When I say that I am pro-life, I am not arguing that women should not have the right to choose what happens to their bodies. I wholeheartedly believe that. But a woman becomes pregnant by her choice and her actions (although I understand that there are plenty of exceptions to this). A woman who is pregnant has, except for in cases of rape or lack of education, made the decision to have sex, which could result in pregnancy. Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying that female sexuality should be repressed, or that women don’t have the right to have sexual relations if that’s what they desire. But that's a whole different argument. My point is that this is not an issue of feminism or female liberation, and it doesn’t mean that I don’t support equality for women and men. Pregnancy and a child are the responsibility of both parties, not just the party that does the carrying of the child.

But, I also believe that life starts at conception, and therefore, when there is an abortion, a being, a living being, is killed. Using this as the basis for my argument, I can say that I don’t accept men ending a life either. So, if I do support a woman’s choice to get an abortion, I’m putting her choice and her right to choose over the choices that are legally available to men. Ending a life is wholly unacceptable, regardless of the person who is ending the life.

To reiterate my point: the conflict surrounding abortion is a conflict of definition. If your personal definition of life is that it starts after birth, we don’t see the issue the same way. Therefore, my argument isn’t going to make that much sense if you’re applying your own background and opinions to the issue. But I’ve found that trying to look at a situation from the opposite point of view can help define the argument and see why the problem exists in the first place. Like I said, I read everything written from a pro-choice standpoint with the realization that our views are coming from totally different places. I think that’s important—being able to look at a situation from the other party’s point of view.

I can guarantee that there will always be disagreement about abortion and what a life is, but I stand by my belief that abortion is ending a life. Yes, a very young and not fully formed life, but still a life. Abortion is not an issue of women’s rights or equality—it’s an issue of definition. I wish I could say that made it more black and white, but it may mean the opposite. All I can say for sure is that my stance is one of pro-life.

Sincerely,

Someone who understands, but respectfully disagrees