Dear Future Husband/Wife,
All I want is someone who truly gets ME. I don’t care where we get married, or how you propose to me. Honestly, you can propose to me when I look like garbage, isn’t that what engagement photoshoots are for later on anyway? I may seem like I’m not asking for a lot, but what I need means everything to me.
I want you to be my safe space. I get anxious and overwhelmed. If you see me having a mental breakdown, I don’t want you to run away. If I scare you away, then you’re not for me. I want you to let me vent, ask me if I need a hug. Usually, I’ll say yes to hugs but I love when you ask first. If you see me having a panic attack, I want you to prompt me to breathe slowly. Ask if I need a hand to hold. When I start to breathe slowly again, ask if I want to talk, or if I want to be distracted from what’s making me anxious. I want someone I can turn to.
I will kill the spiders if you kill the yellow jackets. I want us to be a team. I don’t want to be a housewife, and rely on your income. I’m going to work full-time, I didn’t spend 4 years at college for nothing. Cleaning the house and yoga with the moms just isn’t going to cut it for me. I want to have a job that I love too, I want to contribute to the income.
I don’t think I want kids, but we can absolutely get some dogs! Pregnancy is a huge toll on the body, and since it’s my body I should be allowed to say no to having babies. If I decide I want kids, then let’s adopt, because there are plenty of children in need of a home. But if I don’t change my mind on having kids, please respect that decision. Just being an adult is hard, now imagine having to care for a tiny human on top of that. Besides we won’t have to argue over whose turn it is to change diapers.
It’s okay if we don’t like all the same things, and you don’t have to spend all of your time with me. You have your own friends and I have mine, marriage shouldn’t change that. Some nights I might want to get drinks with my friends, and I imagine you want that for yourself. We may have our relationship, but we are still two different people with our own lives.
If you’re scrolling on your phone in the middle of the night and stumble upon a funny video and can’t wait until morning to show me, wake me up. Because honestly, I do the same thing. I want to laugh at nothing with you to the point when we’re on the floor. Send me memes while we’re both at work if you see something funny.
Honestly, all I really want is emotional support. I’ll be okay with where we choose to live, but it’s our relationship that truly creates the living environment. I just want home to FEEL like it with you. I just want you to make me feel wanted. Remind me that you love me from time to time. And that doesn't always mean saying those three words. As we build our relationship, you'll know all the ways to say it.