Relationships can be tricky. This doesn’t just mean romantic relationships, but friendships too. Often, things happen that sever a relationship long before you decide to end it. We sometimes beat ourselves up for wanting to cut ties with someone we really love, but can’t remain in a relationship with for those reasons. However, most of the time, it’s in your best interest. What can you do to remain positive and continue growing from the loss?

1. Remember Why You Chose to Cut Ties

Oftentimes, we find ourselves looking at the reasons for breaking it off through rose-colored glasses. We see the broken situation and try to tape it back together with everything good about that person. While this person may still be amazing in other ways, remind yourself of why you chose to end the relationship. Continuing to struggle through a relationship that isn’t growing or benefiting you in any way is not healthy and is not doing you any good. You may love this person, but the best thing for you personally will be to end it. It will only cause stress and bitterness for you, and adversely unhappiness for the other person, to drag it on. Most likely, you broke it off for a good reason. Make peace with it and move on. It’s the best option for everyone.

2. Don’t Go Running Back

If you and your significant other can become civil friends after your break up, awesome! If you can separate yourself from a close friend and continue to talk occasionally, that’s great! For those of you that can’t because of the toxicity of the relationship, don’t feel bad about it. You’ll have a moment of weakness that makes you feel guilty and want to go back on your word. DON’T. You had your reasons for removing this person from your everyday life. Don’t get yourself back into old patterns. Toxic relationships have no place in a growing life.

3. Create the "New You"

Use this time to create the person you wanted to be. It’s healthy to miss this person, but remain confident in your decision. Friends and significant others come in and out of your life for a reason. Think about the lessons you learned, the things that made you a better person, and make sure to use those to grow yourself in the future. Loving others is an important feature of being human, but so is self love. Don't tear yourself apart to put others together. Create your inner light and share that with others instead, it is so much more fulfilling.

4. Don't Beat Yourself Up

If you tried your best to end the relationship with dignity, do not beat yourself up about it. You are growing, learning, making mistakes, and recovering. Don’t hold yourself to a standard of “perfection.” Hold yourself to a standard of grace. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt.

You can’t stunt your own growth in order to please other people. Remember your own worth and don’t let anyone stop you from accomplishing your goals. You are strong, powerful, and worthy of love. Love others. Love yourself.