Dear Ex-Best Friends,
Has it really been five months since we last spoke?
High School ended, and so did all of our friendships. I never really felt like we were destined to be that group of girls who stay best friends until we were old, but I never expected for our relationships to end so abruptly. In all honesty, I am grateful for the lessons you all taught me, laughs we shared, the fights we had, and I hope you are all doing well.
It is true that losing a best friend is heart-breaking, but losing two of them at the same time is double the excruciating pain and sleepless nights wondering what went wrong. We all used to confide our fears and doubts to each other. We used to scream Miley Cyrus lyrics in the back of a jeep in the summer when we felt so timeless and free. Now, we don't speak. No calls, texts, snapchats, or efforts to keep in touch.
All that is left is just a film of fuzzy memories that seem to dissipate as the weeks roll by.
I'm sorry that I stopped texting and calling. I knew that there was no way to salvage a relationship that had been scarred with insecurities and mistrust. I miss complaining about our schoolwork and boys, and all the times we laughed until we could not breathe. I miss the nights when we would drive to Dairy Queen after a game at school and talk about our lives.
I miss your kind and welcoming families and the support we used to give one another during tough times. People used to tell us we were so lucky to be such good friends for so long. Funny how things have changed.I wish I could say that I valued all the times we spent together. Our friendships were based on respect, humor, and love. But as the years went on, our conversations became short and dry--like we were strangers. Our fears ate away at our friendships, and our trust had been broken. I can't quite pinpoint the exact moment everything went wrong, it built upon itself until it all came crumbling down, like a game of Jenga. Maybe we fell apart because we were becoming the people we were always meant to be, and that meant we did not need each other anymore. I guess we will never really know. Sometimes I think about sending you both a "How are you doing?" text, but can never get myself to send it. I still feel so much pain when I think about the way our friendships made me feel. I hope that if you ever need someone to talk to, know that I am always here to listen.
It is strange that we are all scattered across the country now trying to shape our own careers and lives when a few months ago we were sitting in a living room eating ice cream and doing chemistry homework. I hope one day in the future we can sit down, grab a cup of coffee, and remember all the stupid things we got ourselves into during High School.
Hope all is well,
Your Ex-Best Friend.