An Open Letter To My Ex-Best Friends

An Open Letter To My Ex-Best Friends

It was never easy to say goodbye.

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Dear Ex-Best Friends,

Has it really been five months since we last spoke?

High School ended, and so did all of our friendships. I never really felt like we were destined to be that group of girls who stay best friends until we were old, but I never expected for our relationships to end so abruptly. In all honesty, I am grateful for the lessons you all taught me, laughs we shared, the fights we had, and I hope you are all doing well.

It is true that losing a best friend is heart-breaking, but losing two of them at the same time is double the excruciating pain and sleepless nights wondering what went wrong. We all used to confide our fears and doubts to each other. We used to scream Miley Cyrus lyrics in the back of a jeep in the summer when we felt so timeless and free. Now, we don't speak. No calls, texts, snapchats, or efforts to keep in touch.

All that is left is just a film of fuzzy memories that seem to dissipate as the weeks roll by.

I'm sorry that I stopped texting and calling. I knew that there was no way to salvage a relationship that had been scarred with insecurities and mistrust. I miss complaining about our schoolwork and boys, and all the times we laughed until we could not breathe. I miss the nights when we would drive to Dairy Queen after a game at school and talk about our lives.

I miss your kind and welcoming families and the support we used to give one another during tough times. People used to tell us we were so lucky to be such good friends for so long. Funny how things have changed.

I wish I could say that I valued all the times we spent together. Our friendships were based on respect, humor, and love. But as the years went on, our conversations became short and dry--like we were strangers. Our fears ate away at our friendships, and our trust had been broken. I can't quite pinpoint the exact moment everything went wrong, it built upon itself until it all came crumbling down, like a game of Jenga. Maybe we fell apart because we were becoming the people we were always meant to be, and that meant we did not need each other anymore. I guess we will never really know. Sometimes I think about sending you both a "How are you doing?" text, but can never get myself to send it. I still feel so much pain when I think about the way our friendships made me feel. I hope that if you ever need someone to talk to, know that I am always here to listen.

It is strange that we are all scattered across the country now trying to shape our own careers and lives when a few months ago we were sitting in a living room eating ice cream and doing chemistry homework. I hope one day in the future we can sit down, grab a cup of coffee, and remember all the stupid things we got ourselves into during High School.

Hope all is well,

Your Ex-Best Friend.

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.
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Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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Turning 'I'm Sorry' Into 'Thank You'

A process of self-awareness I think everyone should consider.

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My entire life I've been apologetic.

I use apologies far too often in my daily life. Whether it be to someone holding the door for me even though I'm still ten feet from the door or my interrupting the custodian cleaning my hall's bathroom. From stepping on my friend's toes to bumping into someone in line at Starbucks.

I think as children, we are taught that apologizing for our actions wipes away the consequences from those actions. In past relationships, I have relied on apologies to make myself feel better about how I've made others feel instead of actually using them to improve my actions.

For me, it has just become something ingrained in my personality. I've noticed that it has become a reflex rather than a conscious response. What I've realized recently is that this is something I can change.

Apologies are helpful when mending hurtful or accidental situations, especially when you find yourself in the wrong, but not everything deserves an, "I'm sorry," and using that phrase for every accidental encounter or mistake, in my eyes, lessens its impact.

If we all use, "I'm sorry," for every minor inconvenience we cause, the words become less meaningful.

I have read about this online a lot lately, and it is suggested that instead of apologizing, we should give thanks.

If I'm late for a date with my friends, the old me would've said, "I'm SO sorry, guys!" But the new me will say, "Thank you for waiting for me."

Instead of apologizing to our (wonderful) custodians, I'll say, "Thank you so much for the work you do here every day."

If someone is kind enough to hold the door for me, even though I'm nowhere near it, I won't apologize for inconveniencing them. Instead, I will take the time to appreciate the fact that they were kind enough to do so, despite my distance from the door.

I think that this is a process everyone can benefit from, so long as they are willing to be conscious of their thoughts and the words they speak. By replacing, "I'm sorry," with an expression of gratitude, we can develop a more positive mindset and reserve apologies for situations that deserve them.

We can also use those rare apologies to remind us to improve our actions; if we hurt someone, we don't get to decide that we didn't or invalidate their feelings. We can then meaningfully apologize and allow it to inherently change our behavior.


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