Dear Marisa,

Your anniversary is soon, and with the recent death of another graduate from Rye High School, I wanted to take this time to say some things. There is so much I wish I could've said to you before you left for college. There are so many things I wanted to thank you for, laugh with you, cry with you, ask you about. There are so many things I wish I could've done before you died.

We may not have been the closest, but I always respected you from afar, and even more once we did grow close for a period of time. We had a class together when I was in 10th grade and you were in 11th. You were spunky, fresh, and always ready to make us laugh. You were real, honest, sincere, and sometimes a bit brutal.

Then we grew closer because of volleyball. You were the varsity setter, I was only the junior varsity setter. You were the main setter, then I became the back up. You graduated, and then I became the main setter. You were always so gentle with me whenever it came to confidence. You knew I wasn't the most confident about my setting. You knew that I hesitated whenever I was picked. You knew the pressures of being a setter. You had every opportunity to get more playing time, more practice time, more one on one time with the coach, but you always included me. You always came over, told me a tip or two, told me to take a deep breath, and believe in my sets.

When you graduated, I was so scared about being alone, about bearing the responsibility of being the one who couldn't mess up. I had always had you to encourage me, to cover for me, to rely on. During our last moments together, you told me one final time to keep my head up, to take a deep breath, to believe in myself, and to do the best I could. You gave me a huge hug, we cried a little, and you said that I could carry the team, that you believed in me. I swelled with pride because who doesn't explode with happiness when your mentor tells you that they believe in you?

Then, I heard that you had died. I didn't believe it at first. I thought there's no way Marisa is gone, not the Marisa I knew. You never think it will happen to you until its happening to you. I kinda crumpled in place, and was quiet for a really long time. My mind was reeling. There were so many things I had wanted to say! There were so many things I wanted to show you. There were so many things that I wanted to do with you once more. I wanted to hear your crazy stories. I wanted to hear your honest advice, and your just do it attitude.

I wanted to play with you again. Now, I will never have that opportunity. But, I know that if you were here, right now, you wouldn't want me to dwell on the sad things. You would cheer me up, crack a joke, turn your music louder, and we'd sing until our voices gave out. There are so many people who love you so much. There are so many people who are so heartbroken that you aren't here anymore. But as long as we're around, we will live through your name. We'll cheer to life, and we'll turn our music louder. We'll cry and we'll laugh to the things that life throws at us. We'll hold our heads high, breathe, believe in ourselves, and live.

Thank you for everything. Thank you for the insane memories, the laughs, the bizarre looks, the pumping music, and the encouragement. You went through hell and back, but you always held your head high with pride and confidence.

Please continue looking out for each other. College is an insane period in all of our lives, and you don't know who you are saving just by watching out. Please be safe. Please be responsible. Don't leave your friends alone if they drank too much. Don't let your friend go if they are unsure with who they are going with. Don't pressure your friends if they don't want to do something.

I love you Marisa. You were #1 on the court and you will always be #1 in our hearts.

XOXO.