To The Women Before Me
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To The Women Before Me

A new perspective on your boyfriend's past.

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To The Women Before Me
councilforrelationships.org

To the Women Before Me,

I haven't met most of you. In fact, I don't know anything about any of you, other than the minor details of you and my boyfriend. I've never been one to become jealous until I fell in love. Hearing about the past would pull at my heart strings and I'd fill myself with anger. Then I asked myself, "Why? Why do people get like this? Why am I getting like this?" I decided to quit the jealousy. It's not in my character and it never was. I wanted to look at everything in a new perspective, and I wanted to share that with all of you.

That perspective is gratefulness.

I am a big believer that people don't change and that we were all born to be a certain way. However, I also believe that people influence our behaviors and change our perspectives. Each of you have had an impact on his life and how he does things, whether you are an ex-girlfriend or an ex-fling. He absorbed how you all reacted when he would pull a chair out or open a door for you, and it prepared him for the relationship we have now. I have to thank each of you for teaching him how to be a gentleman, because I've never been with a man with manners that compare to his.

One of the hardest things for me to do is to trust someone. After being betrayed and lied to so many times by people, a person really has to earn my trust. It was different with him. I felt like I could trust him with every secret I had since our first conversation. Thank you for teaching him to be trustworthy, even if you weren't being the same way to him because he's doing the job pretty well.

Loyalty is a hard characteristic to find in people lately, especially now where instant gratification is wanted more than a long term relationship. Thank you for teaching him to always stay loyal, even after each heartbreak. He never keeps secrets from me, he's always honest and would avoid anything that would break my heart.

Rough times can shape a person in the best way if the person looks at it optimistically. He doesn't have a pessimistic personality, even though he's been through tons of heartbreak. His "glass half-full" look on life helped me come to see this new perspective on the past. I am grateful for you all unintentionally putting him to the test to see if he would remain optimistic, even when things went wrong. He looked at every break up in a positive way, took the lessons he learned with him and never looked at or talked about any of you negatively (even if you deserved to be). His respect for women, even if they wronged him, influenced me towards this new perspective. Why should I be jealous or angry towards any of you if he isn't?

So when you see our pictures pop up on your timeline and you begin to reminisce about the memories you had and wonder what I think of you, the answer is simple: I am grateful for you. There are no negative feelings on my end and I truly thank you for all being a part of my boyfriend's life and shaping him to become the man he is today.

I hope this letter brings light to other girls that felt the same way I used to. Jealousy is the ugliest trait and you shouldn't let yourself hit that low. He wouldn't be the person you fell in love with without these other women. To be blunt: the past belongs in the past, and it's not worth getting upset over.

In the words of Cinderella, "Have courage and be kind."

Best of luck,

The Girlfriend

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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