Dear self,
You did it! You survived what was probably the busiest and trickiest semester of your college career! Yeah, it isn't much, I mean it's another college semester, but this one was pretty challenging. But you pushed through! ...wait, you can't believe it? You can't possibly believe that you were able to make it through?
Let's take it back to September. You had what could be deemed "The Worst Week Ever:" got partially soaked from rain on Monday, had anxiety throughout the week but your first anxiety attack on Tuesday (it's not fun, trust me), your period started the next day, and it just kept getting worse. Then on Friday, you discovered you got a UTI...your first! And you're a virgin, so go figure, right? The antibiotic pills had cool colors though, so that was one bright side...and you finally got a record player! Something you had been wanting for years!
From the second half of September to the beginning of October, you suffered a serious depressive episode especially after the Worst Week Ever. You could barely get out of bed, and even if you wanted to, it would be hard to do so. Doing basic tasks like taking a shower or taking out your garbage warranted a victory for you because you genuinely just did not feel like existing.
Trust me, I get it. When a depressive episode hits you, it's never a great feeling and it feels like your positive feelings are under attack by an army of little dark creatures set out to ruin your mental wellbeing. It especially stinks when you feel like everyone around you in real life can't relate to your struggle (even though you should always remember that there are more people who can relate than you think!). It was so hard for you that you wondered if you would ever make it
...and you did!
You are a goddamn fighter. Despite your mental health suddenly taking a nosedive into a metaphorical hell, you continued to get all your schoolwork done on time...or as close to on-time as you could with all that procrastinating! It's OK, we're college students and procrastination is practically in our blood.
But you know what else you managed to do that you thought would never happen?
You branched out with your writing; giving yourself more opportunity to better yourself and have your voice be heard: first writing for Society19 in January, then writing for Her Campus UCF, and now you can add another one to the resume: the website you're freaking writing for right now, Odyssey! You decided to join on a whim, but you don't regret it, right? That is what life is really about: taking risks and living it up with no regrets! But that's not all you managed to accomplish.
Remember when you started to look for internships in Fall 2016 but got jack? You felt discouraged and even considered changing majors only about 100 times. You pretty much gave up, but that all changed this year. You nailed Intern Pursuit... almost (we can work on talking with employers at networking events, but I hate networking so it's OK), had an interview with one of the employers the following week, and WALKED OUT WITH AN INTERNSHIP. YOUR FIRST. HOW AMAZING IS THAT?!
Self, I'm proud of you. Sometimes life gets exhausting and all you wanna do is cry for a while and hide away from everything. But you continue to live and you continue to fight. How is that even possible?! I don't know, but you just continue to do the damn thing. Keep it up, and no matter how hard life can be, never give up. You got this and most importantly, God's got this.
Love you, always.