An Open Letter To The Friend Who Was Never My Friend

An Open Letter To The Friend Who Was Never My Friend

Thank you for showing me what a toxic relationship is.

Dear “Friend,”

So, it's been awhile since we've talked and I know things have changed between us. We went from being best buddies to enemies, then from enemies to strangers. It was like all of a sudden, our friendship was over, and you ran to be friends with people who you used to treat like dirt. You then proceeded to treat me even worse than you used to treat them, and I didn't understand. Funny how things worked out, isn't it? Fights have been had, amends have been made, and apologies were eventually given, but our relationship will never be the same, and I've finally made peace with that. I finally realized that I don't need you, your negativity, or our fake friendship in my life. Not only do I not need you, I'm so much better off without you.

Our friendship may have been fake on your side, but I cared about you, and you did your best to try to hurt me. I know you might have needed me to sit with at lunch, gossip to about your long list of stupid problems, or hang out with when your other friends were busy, but I certainly didn't need you. I still wonder how I went for so long without seeing that you were bringing me down. I was a last resort to you, and my only regret about the end of our friendship is that it didn't happen sooner. I'm so much better off without you and your negative influence in my life. Finally, no more stupid gossip, annoying arguments or pointless fights. I feel like I can breathe again, and it's a wonderful feeling.

So, this might sound a little weird coming from me, but thank you. Thank you for pretending to be my friend and attempting to isolate me from people who had my back. Thanks for starting the craziest drama for no reason, ditching me with absolutely no explanation, and especially for your obsession with trying to make my life miserable (you failed, by the way.) Lastly, thanks for making me stronger than I was when I first met you. You showed me all of the warning signs I needed to see in a toxic relationship, and I walked away the better person.

Now, I stand tall with my head held high, because I took the better route in life. I got myself together while you never seemed to figure out who you were. I'm making my dreams come true and learning to live without you. I may have lost you, but I gained pure confidence, I gained real friends, true happiness, and I got out of the dark cloud that you held over my head for so long. So if you're wondering how I'm doing, I'm doing great, I've moved on, and I'm better off without you. Thanks again.



Cover Image Credit: Zena

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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