Dear RA,

While we all know that you’re supposed to do your job, and forego a lot of social events to do so, here are some honest thoughts I’ve had during the first bit of college.

The first thing I have to address is my total confusion surrounding our relationship. Are you my dorm mom or my friend?

And if you’re more my mom, are you a regular mom or a cool mom? Or dad, in my case, actually. Also, can you drop a few hints or maybe draw a map of the things I can actually tell you without being written up? I mean, coming into school, I didn’t even realize that RAs existed, so you have to understand my confusion. Nevertheless, to avoid any more slip-ups, I think all RAs should put a sign outside their door that says either “Cool RA” or “Regular RA.” This would really clear up all confusion we freshmen have toward our relationship.

Secondly, what are the rules of you being an RA? Like, if I happen to see you while I’m dragging clinking bottles of cheap vodka into my room, I get that you have to write me up, but what if I see you out? Because in my mind, it’s about as uncomfortable as seeing a teacher outside of school.

Do I talk to you, avoid you, or take shots with you? And if we take shots, can you write me up for that when we get back to school? Speaking of being at school, if you find me drunk say, walking back to my dorm room at 3 a.m., or I accidentally knock on your door because I’m bored and feel like talking before I PTFO, what will you do?

Finally, you were also a freshman once, maybe not as rowdy as all other freshmen but you have to understand we’re all just trying to figure it out, so maybe cut us some slack sometimes. Also just a word of advice, those bulletins could use a little more work. And on a personal note to my RA, brunch Sunday?

A response would be lovely.

Sincerely,

All freshmen, everywhere