Dear Flaky People,

What you are doing is beyond not okay. A commitment is a commitment, and repeatedly going back on your word hurts. Obviously it hurts people like me, but the nasty little habit will be detrimental to you as well. My time, like the time of any other person in this millennium, is valuable. You, have a miraculous gift for wasting everyone else's time. Such a talent makes any symbiotic relationship parasitic. By perpetually rescheduling at the last minute, you show others how little their time matters to you and demonstrate your pitiful organizational skills.

No, they do not need to know your entire schedule so that they can work around it. Let's be honest, you don't know your entire schedule anyway. No, they do not want to be part of a scheduling group chat to see what time works for everyone. Why? It's like trying to catch a fly ball on a rollercoaster. No, an hour is not enough notice. They are probably already getting ready. Yes, it is a big deal.

Stop rationalizing and get your life together. If it's a "maybe" on whether you can do something, a little heads up goes a long way. (That's when you make the plan, not the day of or night before.) It's okay to say no! No one can do everything, and sometimes schedules just don't line up. Give people a time, place, and activity of what you can do. Negotiate one aspect of the meeting from there, if needed. If a simple solution does not readily present itself, abandon all attempts and try again another day.

It really can be that simple. Otherwise, you diminish your word to naught, and submit your relationships to a slow and painful death. Being a 'yes man' may feel like the right thing to do, but a last minute no-show is profoundly less humane than a simple 'no'. Continue as you are, and the number of invitations you receive will start to decrease. To be friends with a flake is to deal with regular stress and rejection, and life doesn't really need more of either.

Instead of resorting to flake-like behavior, learn how to effectively communicate verbally and through text. These skills will have direct applications for your entire life.

Plan the work and work the plan. It will be appreciated.

Sincerely,

A person who just wants to help