Two Christmas dinners ago, I felt -for the first time- truly unwelcome at the table. The conversation had turned to politics, and my mom was being “called out” for being a Democrat. She jokingly shifted the room’s focus by shouting: “Emily’s voting for Hillary!” I had no way of knowing that Hillary Clinton would be the Democratic nominee at that time; I didn’t even know how to drive a car. Yet, hearing her name and mine in the same sentence was enough to send every one of you into a frenzy.

It was like you guys didn’t breathe. Every second was another accusation, and every accusation was another jab at me. “You’re only voting for her because she’s a woman.” “You’re so liberal.” “You don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

I get it, you don’t like Hillary Clinton. That’s fine, a lot of people don’t. However, it’s one thing to insult a politician, and a complete other to insult me because of my political beliefs. I live by my values and that is something I pride myself on. Yes, these values are liberal and align with the Democratic party. No, that’s not a bad thing. So it’s clear, I’m not voting for Hillary Clinton just because she is a woman; I’m voting for her because she’s the most qualified candidate in this election. And, if you try to diminish the fact that a woman - completely aside from your opinions on the particular woman - has won a major party nomination and is on the presidential ballot, I would be overwhelmed with questions as to why you cannot embrace, or at the very least, appreciate the historical significance of this.

Listen, I probably wouldn’t even be writing this letter if it was all just about you being against Hillary and hearing that I would support her was dizzying in the moment for you. But that’s not where it ended. You’ve attacked my Democratic affiliation and beliefs. You’ve brought me newspaper clippings bashing Elizabeth Warren and asked how do I like her now?? (I’m still indifferent, by the way). You’ve told me I support terrorists because I don’t favor as strict immigration laws as you (that’s kind of really insulting). You’ve attacked me when I told you your comments were xenophobic and paranoid (I’m not attacking you. I’m letting you know your words can really hurt). None of this is just because you’re against Hillary; you are against me as a Democrat. And it’s worth saying that “Republican” and “Democrat” does not mean that one of us is right and the other is wrong. It means we should really try to have a discussion because it would probably be very interesting.

It’s taken me until now to understand how and why you support a man like Donald Trump. After you came at me with guns blazing, nothing I said would be heard. You were so consumed with trying to having the upper hand, the power, the self-righteousness, that anything I had to say would be met with the human equivalent of an egg hitting a brick wall. I could be completely honest and forthright about my thoughts and beliefs and it would all be rejected by you without any consideration. I think you support him because you admire the way he dismisses any discussion or conversation not favorable to him or his points of view. Your hatred, and his, for anything that is not what you believe is so embedded within you that you cannot even give me a chance to explain how I see the world; you have repeatedly dispelled my points of view simply because I am a Democrat.

Regardless of our political affiliation, however, I am still your family. I am not some character on Facebook you can attack without care of consequence. I am here with you at every Christmas dinner table for the foreseeable future, and it’s going to feel a lot longer if we can’t make it through a night together without you berating me for what I value and believe.

So, you can vote for Trump, follow him on Twitter, wear your Make America Great Again hat all around town; I really don’t care. I'm just asking you to please stop feeding into his hatred and stop bashing me for having my own opinions.