An Open Letter To The Canadian Judge Who Asked A Rape Victim 'Why Couldn't You Just Keep Your Knees Together?'

An Open Letter To The Canadian Judge Who Asked A Rape Victim 'Why Couldn't You Just Keep Your Knees Together?'

I was stunned to my core when I heard this.
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To the Canadian judge who asked a rape victim "Why couldn't you just keep your knees together?"...

Well my question is...Why couldn't the penetrator just keep his penis in his pants? Why couldn't the assaulter just not shove her over the back of a sink? Why couldn't the rapist just not rape people?

Its people like you that are the problem, that are just as bad as the rapists, that are just as vulgar and disgusting and heartless. Its people like you who have the chance to stop these kind of happenings, to make an end for all the Brock Turner cases, to protect rape victims, and you don't.

As Mean Girls quotes, there are two types of evil people in this world; people who do evil things and people who see evil things being done and do nothing to stop it. You are that evil. You are the worst kind of person. You are sick. You have the power to make a change and you aren't. You are making young girls hate themselves. You are making young men think its justified to do what they have done. You are just as bad as the rapists.

You can apologize publicly all you want, you can apologize to the woman who went through this, and you can apologize one million times to reporters, but your actions in this case, speak much louder than your words that are a little too late.

"Why didn't you just sink your bottom down into the basin so he couldn't penetrate you?" you asked her. Why not?! Because she was probably being held against her will, because she was probably panicking inside, and because she was probably tired of fighting. Do you think its that easy for a nineteen year old girl to take down another human being? Especially after she had been drinking. No.

"Young women want to have sex, particularly if they're drunk."

And so do young men obviously. The difference is that alcohol is not an excuse for rape. Alcohol should not be a sacrifice for safety. Alcohol shouldn't be a punishment for women. Are you kidding me? It seems that these rapists want to have sex all the time, particularly if they don't have consent. And it seems that these judges don't care all the time, particularly the ones who ask girls why they don't keep their knees together. Women don't always want to have sex, regardless of if alcohol is involved or not.

"Some sex and pain sometimes go together".

So being raped and shoved over the bathroom sink at a house party counts as one of the times sex and pain go together? Okay, so you would like that? Since sex and pain go together sometimes you would like that too. To have a man, a stranger, force you over a sink and penetrate you?

Do you have a daughter? Or a wife? Or a sister? What about your own mother? How can you even look at them at this point? How can they even stand to be around someone like you? Who looks at women and objectifies them, who looks at women and has a biased view, who looks at women and sees them as "asking for it". Who views women as next to nothing.

I guess my question to you Judge is how can you look yourself in the mirror and be okay with yourself? When that 19-year-old girl, who was raped over the sink in a bathroom, can't even look herself in the mirror because you made her hate herself?

Cover Image Credit: Scoopnest

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
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Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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Why The Idea Of 'No Politics At The Dinner Table' Takes Place And Why We Should Avoid It

When did having a dialogue become so rare?

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Why has the art of civilized debate and conversation become unheard of in daily life? Why is it considered impolite to talk politics with coworkers and friends? Expressing ideas and discussing different opinions should not be looked down upon.

I have a few ideas as to why this is our current societal norm.

1. Politics is personal.

Your politics can reveal a lot about who you are. Expressing these (sometimes controversial) opinions may put you in a vulnerable position. It is possible for people to draw unfair conclusions from one viewpoint you hold. This fosters a fear of judgment when it comes to our political beliefs.

Regardless of where you lie on the spectrum of political belief, there is a world of assumption that goes along with any opinion. People have a growing concern that others won't hear them out based on one belief.

As if a single opinion could tell you all that you should know about someone. Do your political opinions reflect who you are as a person? Does it reflect your hobbies? Your past?

The question becomes "are your politics indicative enough of who you are as a person to warrant a complete judgment?"

Personally, I do not think you would even scratch the surface of who I am just from knowing my political identification.

2. People are impolite.

The politics themselves are not impolite. But many people who wield passionate, political opinion act impolite and rude when it comes to those who disagree.

The avoidance of this topic among friends, family, acquaintances and just in general, is out of a desire to 'keep the peace'. Many people have friends who disagree with them and even family who disagree with them. We justify our silence out of a desire to avoid unpleasant situations.

I will offer this: It might even be better to argue with the ones you love and care about, because they already know who you are aside from your politics, and they love you unconditionally (or at least I would hope).

We should be having these unpleasant conversations. And you know what? They don't even need to be unpleasant! Shouldn't we be capable of debating in a civilized manner? Can't we find common ground?

I attribute the loss of political conversation in daily life to these factors. 'Keeping the peace' isn't an excuse. We should be discussing our opinions constantly and we should be discussing them with those who think differently.

Instead of discouraging political conversation, we should be encouraging kindness and understanding. That's how we will avoid the unpleasantness that these conversations sometimes bring.

By avoiding them altogether, we are doing our youth a disservice because they are not being exposed to government, law, and politics, and they are not learning to deal with people and ideas that they don't agree with.

Next Thanksgiving, talk politics at the table.

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