An Open Letter To The Canadian Judge Who Asked A Rape Victim 'Why Couldn't You Just Keep Your Knees Together?'

An Open Letter To The Canadian Judge Who Asked A Rape Victim 'Why Couldn't You Just Keep Your Knees Together?'

I was stunned to my core when I heard this.

To the Canadian judge who asked a rape victim "Why couldn't you just keep your knees together?"...

Well my question is...Why couldn't the penetrator just keep his penis in his pants? Why couldn't the assaulter just not shove her over the back of a sink? Why couldn't the rapist just not rape people?

Its people like you that are the problem, that are just as bad as the rapists, that are just as vulgar and disgusting and heartless. Its people like you who have the chance to stop these kind of happenings, to make an end for all the Brock Turner cases, to protect rape victims, and you don't.

As Mean Girls quotes, there are two types of evil people in this world; people who do evil things and people who see evil things being done and do nothing to stop it. You are that evil. You are the worst kind of person. You are sick. You have the power to make a change and you aren't. You are making young girls hate themselves. You are making young men think its justified to do what they have done. You are just as bad as the rapists.

You can apologize publicly all you want, you can apologize to the woman who went through this, and you can apologize one million times to reporters, but your actions in this case, speak much louder than your words that are a little too late.

"Why didn't you just sink your bottom down into the basin so he couldn't penetrate you?" you asked her. Why not?! Because she was probably being held against her will, because she was probably panicking inside, and because she was probably tired of fighting. Do you think its that easy for a nineteen year old girl to take down another human being? Especially after she had been drinking. No.

"Young women want to have sex, particularly if they're drunk."

And so do young men obviously. The difference is that alcohol is not an excuse for rape. Alcohol should not be a sacrifice for safety. Alcohol shouldn't be a punishment for women. Are you kidding me? It seems that these rapists want to have sex all the time, particularly if they don't have consent. And it seems that these judges don't care all the time, particularly the ones who ask girls why they don't keep their knees together. Women don't always want to have sex, regardless of if alcohol is involved or not.

"Some sex and pain sometimes go together".

So being raped and shoved over the bathroom sink at a house party counts as one of the times sex and pain go together? Okay, so you would like that? Since sex and pain go together sometimes you would like that too. To have a man, a stranger, force you over a sink and penetrate you?

Do you have a daughter? Or a wife? Or a sister? What about your own mother? How can you even look at them at this point? How can they even stand to be around someone like you? Who looks at women and objectifies them, who looks at women and has a biased view, who looks at women and sees them as "asking for it". Who views women as next to nothing.

I guess my question to you Judge is how can you look yourself in the mirror and be okay with yourself? When that 19-year-old girl, who was raped over the sink in a bathroom, can't even look herself in the mirror because you made her hate herself?

Cover Image Credit: Scoopnest

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To The Friends I Won't Talk To After High School

I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.


So, for the last four years I’ve seen you almost everyday. I’ve learned about your annoying little brother, your dogs and your crazy weekend stories. I’ve seen you rock the awful freshman year fashion, date, attend homecoming, study for AP tests, and get accepted into college.

Thank you for asking me about my day, filling me in on your boy drama and giving me the World History homework. Thank you for complimenting my outfits, laughing at me presenting in class and listening to me complain about my parents. Thank you for sending me your Quizlets and being excited for my accomplishments- every single one of them. I appreciate it all because I know that soon I won’t really see you again. And that makes me sad. I’ll no longer see your face every Monday morning, wave hello to you in the hallways or eat lunch with you ever again. We won't live in the same city and sooner or later you might even forget my name.

We didn’t hang out after school but none the less you impacted me in a huge way. You supported my passions, stood up for me and made me laugh. You gave me advice on life the way you saw it and you didn’t have to but you did. I think maybe in just the smallest way, you influenced me. You made me believe that there’s lots of good people in this world that are nice just because they can be. You were real with me and that's all I can really ask for. We were never in the same friend group or got together on the weekends but you were still a good friend to me. You saw me grow up before your eyes and watched me walk into class late with Starbucks every day. I think people like you don’t get enough credit because I might not talk to you after high school but you are still so important to me. So thanks.

With that said, I truly hope that our paths cross one day in the future. You can tell me about how your brothers doing or how you regret the college you picked. Or maybe one day I’ll see you in the grocery store with a ring on your finger and I’ll be so happy you finally got what you deserved so many guys ago.

And if we ever do cross paths, I sincerely hope you became everything you wanted to be. I hope you traveled to Italy, got your dream job and found the love of your life. I hope you have beautiful children and a fluffy dog named Charlie. I hope you found success in love before wealth and I hope you depended on yourself for happiness before anything else. I hope you visited your mom in college and I hope you hugged your little sister every chance you got. She’s in high school now and you always tell her how that was the time of your life. I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.

And hey, maybe I’ll see you at the reunion and maybe just maybe you’ll remember my face. If so, I’d like to catch up, coffee?



Cover Image Credit: High school Musical

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Terrors Behind "Toddlers & Tiaras" - Beauty Pageants Need To Go!

Why Honey Boo Boo is not the girl we should be idolizing...


Honey Boo Boo is famous for her extravagant persona, extreme temper tantrums, overwhelming attitude, and intense sassiness. All of these qualities are shared by many other young girls who participate in beauty pageants - not just in "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" but also in TLC's notorious "Toddlers & Tiaras," a show that depicts the horrors of little girls who have dedicated their childhood to winning the crown.

These shows, and the pageants they glorify do nothing but force girls to grow up too quickly, send negative messages to viewers and participants and pose health risks for the girls involved.

Therefore, beauty pageants for young girls should be abolished.

The hypersexualization that takes place in these pageants is staggering. Not only are young girls' minds molded into having a superficial view on beauty, but they are also waxed, spray-tanned, given wigs, retouched in pictures, injected with Botox and fillers, and painted with fake abs and even breasts.

Sexy is the goal, not cute. Girls of ages 2-12 wear skimpy clothing, accentuating only their underdeveloped bodies. A 4-year-old girl on "Toddlers and Tiaras" once impersonated Dolly Parton with fake breasts, another dressed as Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman (so basically, a prostitute), and another even pretended to smoke a cigarette to look like Sandy from Grease.

In Venezuela, people are so obsessed with pageants that they send their daughters to "Miss Factories," to train them to win. At these factories, underage girls undergo plastic surgery and hormone therapy to delay puberty in attempts to grow taller. In addition, they often get mesh sewn onto their tongues so that they are physically incapable of eating solid food. This idea of taking horrific measures to look slimmer is not unique to Venezuela. A former Miss USA explained that she would "slather on hemorrhoid ointment, wrap herself up with Saran wrap, and run on a treadmill with an incline for 30 minutes to tighten her skin and waist up." Many countries, including France and Israel have banned child beauty pageants because it is "hypersexualizing." Why has the US yet to follow in their footsteps?

Additionally, the pageants strip their young contestants of a childhood by basically putting them through harsh child labor. Oftentimes, girls as young as 18 months old participate in pageants. There is no way that a girl under 2 years old has the capacity to decide for herself that she wants to participate in a beauty pageant. Not to mention, education often takes a backseat in pageant girls' lives as long practice sessions interfere with sleep and homework. This causes long-term distress for the contestants, including widespread unemployment for former pageant girls.

Moreover, these pageants tie self-worth and self-esteem to attractiveness. They teach girls that natural beauty and intelligence are not enough, when in actuality they should be doing the opposite. In fact, 72% of pageant girls hire coaches to train girls to be more "attractive."

Finally, these pageants pose potent health risks for the girls competing. Not only do intense rehearsals interfere with their sleep cycles, but they are also impacted by the harmful methods taken to keep them awake. One example is Honey Boo Boo's "go go juice" - AKA a mixture of Mountain Dew and Red Bull. She is known for drinking this continuously throughout pageant days to stay awake and energetic - but the health risks associated with the drinks, let alone for such a young girl, are completely ignored.

And, the future health problems associated with pageantry cannot be looked past. Participating in beauty pageants as kids leads to eating disorders, perfectionism, depression - in fact, at least 6% suffer from depression while competing. "The Princess Syndrome," as Psychology Today calls it relates to a small study published in 2005 that showed that former childhood beauty pageant contestants had higher rates of body dissatisfaction. This sense of dissatisfaction can so easily be translated to more severe mental and physical health issues, including depression, anxiety, and eating disorders. The average BMI (Body Mass Index) of a Beauty Contestant in the US in 1930 was 20.8, which is universally in the middle of the "healthy" range. In 2010, it was 16.9, which is considered underweight for anyone.

So, despite the entertainment these shows and pageants provide, they should most definitely be stopped due to the immense amount of issues they cause for those involved and those who watch.

Although Honey Boo Boo is (sadly) considered one of America's sweethearts, her experience in pageantry has certainly not been a positive influence in her life nor in the lives of her fans - and this is the case for nearly all young pageant girls.

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