Dear Alex, (aka Brosky)
Hey my brother, I finally sat down and wrote this after years of wanting to, but never knowing how to start or how to say what I wanted to you. A few days before my 21st birthday and I am finally doing it.
For so long, I have been thinking about how we grew up and the way it differed from so many of our friends. Sometimes I still cannot believe we were both adopted from Russia on Christmas Eve of ‘96. Can you?
We never were close, so let me be open and honest right now. I constantly think about how polar opposite we are in so many things. We may not technically share the same blood, and I know you dealt with life one way and I another, but I just wanted to reflect on some memories and maybe you’ll see through the mix of good and bad moments. Though we struggled differently, we had some things in common and felt the same in more than we thought.
It took me a long time to realize these similarities, but I hope you realize it too and remember these moments like I do when reading them.
Remember how we used to fight over the TV remote?
I would yell that it was my turn and you’d just laugh and mock me because you knew there was no way I could get it away from your hands.
Remember when we would hide things on mom for fun, or hide out at a friend’s house on days we just didn’t feel like dealing with her?
Remember when we’d try and sneak down to the basement to play computer games late at night when we should have been sleeping?
I always ruined it by laughing, so you would tell me I couldn’t follow you next time.
Remember when we tried sneaking out and running away from mom’s house a couple times to go to 238 North Grand Avenue where our dad was?
You played baseball.
I played basketball.
You got detention as often as I went to math tutoring.
You hated reading and couldn’t spell for your life, so I would try and help you with English papers.
Remember how you learned how to tie your shoes before me, so you tied mine even though I’m older?
Remember how you used shoelaces to keep your pants from falling down?
I remember waiting up with dad with such worry until the cops showed up. Again.
Do you remember all of this like me?
You’d be paintballing with your friends all afternoon.
And I would be doing paint by number in my room.
You were out being mischievous on Friday nights.
And I would be in watching a movie, or at my friend Mackenzie’s.
Dad told me when I wasn’t around that you’d ask where I was.
Funny, cause I did the same thing.
Remember how those stupid lawyers would come in and ask questions like: Who would you rather live with? Mom or dad?
I remember you chose dad and I was stuck in between, so I kept going back and forth.
It was so weird without you at mom’s, even though when you were there all we did was pretty much fight, I was so angry you weren’t there on Macaroni and Cheese Mondays.
I know you just didn’t want to deal with her anymore, so you packed all your things and lived with dad permanently, only stopping at mom's once or twice a year.
I remember your swing dance class and your skater phase and how we both cried in my car when mom left 110 Forbus street.
I remember I made you get up that morning and come to breakfast with us before she went. You didn’t want to go at first, but I didn’t want you to have regrets.
Remember how many times we’d hit one another, say we hated each other and call each other a hundred mean names?
I remember when you would meet a new boyfriend and tell me later you’d "F him up" if he ever hurt me.
Remember when we were in the living room and I told you some stuff that you never thought would come out of my mouth about some things I’ve done?
Your facial expression was priceless when you found out I’m not as innocent as you thought I was.
Remember that hug during Christmas this year?
I remember all of this and so much more. I know we never expressed our thoughts to one another a lot, but just know I love you so and I’ll forever cherish every moment, good, bad, old and new and hope you remember it all the way I do.
Love,
Your annoying sister