Dear little one,
I was just a normal first grader. One night, sitting at dinner at Memphis Blues, Mom and Dad told me I was going to be a big sister. I was so excited, until I came home from school one day. Dad was standing in the garage when I arrived home. He wasn't crying, but I knew something was wrong. Once I got into the garage, he told me that Mom had lost the baby. As a first grader I didn't understand, so he explained it and told me mom needed to be alone for a little. When I went inside, I found mom laying on the bed crying. I don't remember much of the day after that point, but I do remember school the next day. The teacher knew what had happened and I tried not to cry, but when the teacher asked what day it was, as she did every morning, I raised my hand to answer, but as I went to answer I started crying and she couldn't understand me.
I think of you all the time, especially the past two years. I had an internship at the elementary school recently. I didn’t realize it while I was there, but once I started interning at the middle school, I realized you would be about that age. If you would have been in choir, I would have choreographed your songs.
My junior and senior musical had a little girl in it. She played Annie when we did Annie and Young Fiona in Shrek. I became really close to her and it felt like she was my little sister. You would be her age, maybe even her friend. I haven’t seen her since June. I’ve gone in twice to the middle school to see the choir director and hoped it was a 7th and 8th grade choir day so I could see her. Neither time was.
I always think, if you were here, I would have someone to hang out with on family vacations. When Mom and Dad don’t want to do something I would have someone to do it with. Even though you would be seven years younger than me, it would still be fun. You wouldn’t have been able to go to the nightclub on the cruise but everything else would have been fine. I hate when Mom and Dad don’t want to do something because I don’t want to do it alone. If you were here, I'd never be alone.
I wish I could have gotten to know you.
Love,Your big sis