I roll over in my bed to grab my phone.

I check the time, it’s 5:45 in the morning, almost time to get ready for work.

I set my phone down on my bedside table and try to go back to sleep until my 6 o’clock alarm goes off, but my anxious thoughts constrict me.

It’s summertime and being away from my friends is hard.

Unlocking my phone, I click on Instagram to see what they are up to.

The first thing that I see are the stories of my favorite YouTubers such as Shannon Beveridge and Dodie Clark. They are both so pretty and talented, I could never compete with them.

When I start scrolling I notice that my friends all look so happy. They are posting pictures of their latest vacations, meeting up with other people, or sharing their greatest accomplishments.

I feel so small at this moment like my life is just a record stuck of repeat and my friends are out creating albums. With frustration, I close the app and get ready for work.

It is so easy to feel this way when you are living a routine life. I tried to pinpoint the main reason why I wake up so anxious and frustrated every morning, then I realized that it is because I am comparing myself to others.

I should be out having as much as their pictures are portraying, but instead, I am wishing that I was in their shoes, and that’s not healthy.

I knew that something had to change.

So I decided to do an experiment. I wanted to see what it would be like to go without Instagram for a few days. Instead of checking my phone in the morning, I set an alarm for twenty minutes before the official wake up alarm so that I could set some time aside for me.

I got out of my bed and did the one thing that always helped me contain my emotions and thoughts, the one thing that I knew was best for me. I grabbed my pen and notebook and wrote about anything that came to mind. I found myself going to work in a better mood and realized that I did not need to seek other people’s approval for my happiness.

We live in a society where we think happiness is found in a double tap on a screen. Our minds have been trained to check media to seek happiness in other people’s adventures, but how can we be happy if we are wasting our time scrolling and not exploring? We would rather send someone a DM or tag them in a GIF than talk in person, especially about the things that are hard.

Meetings with friends turn into a meeting for faces behind screens. It is truly tragic to be a witness to these experiences.

Moral of the story, do what you love and do all of the behind the scenes things that are not shown in Instagram pictures.

I am so ready to get to know people by playing music, long talks, art, and exploring nature.

I am so ready for these things to be done and to create magnificent memories without taking a picture.