Hey buddy...

It's me. I know we haven't really been the best of friends lately, and that is no ones fault but my own. Don't take this the wrong way, but I have spent a good majority of my life hating you. I have wasted years, never allowing you to be good enough, seeing you only as an object of improvement. At times, I've put my whole sense of self-worth on you and you alone, but I see now that it is way too much pressure for two legs to hold up.

When I was a kid, we were best friends. Remember those days? My legs held the duty of getting me to school. My feet were to help me outrun the other kids to the swing set. My arms were to embrace my family when I got home. You did your job perfectly, how could this friendship ever be lost?

Then one day, someone told me you weren't enough.

Your legs were too big.

Your chest was too small.

Your knees were too knobby.

You were ugly.

And from that day forth, it became less and less about you keeping me alive and more and more about making you perfect. My legs now had the job of being skinny enough to show a thigh gap. My feet had to look perfect in sandals, not too big or wide. My arms had to look toned and muscular. I did everything I could to try and make you fit this ridiculous mold that really just left you weak and weary.

And I guess I really can't blame it all on other people for making me feel bad about you, because ninety nine percent of the time, it's me putting you down.

So this is my apology to you. I'm sorry for all of the times I've been embarrassed of you. I'm sorry for not recognizing how much you've done for me thus far, and how many more miles you will take me in the future. I'm sorry that I've let others opinions about you dictate how I treat you. I'm sorry for starving you just so that I would feel a tiny bit more confident. I'm sorry for not taking the time to listen to what you needed. I'm sorry for always trying to change you.

As I look at you with a new gaze, one of appreciation and care, I see you the way I used to when I was a child. My "big" legs are strong enough to get me to class on time (even when I leave 10 minutes late). My "ugly" feet have taken me up countless mountains and through foreign countries. My "knobby" knees let me kneel before the alter at church every Sunday. My "weak" arms have hugged people who just needed to know they were loved. My "small" chest is big enough to hold a gracious and loving heart. You're not just "my body." You're not just an object. You're me.

So here's to a new beginning, because you deserve some credit. Not to mention being enemies is exhuasting (and works up quite an appetite). Let's go eat some pizza.

Much Love,

Me