For The One You'll Always Remember

To All The Ones I've Loved Before: Part II

There was something different about my attraction to you.

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Dear J,

I remember meeting you in Home Ec. when we were in eighth grade. Our friendship developed immediately, and we just never stopped talking.

We were always causing trouble in class until Mrs. Jenkins eventually had to separate us just so she could get through the class.

When we started hanging out during early morning session and lunch, we became even more notorious for our adolescent antics.

You were always there to make me laugh even when I really didn't want to.

You never gave up on me even when I gave up on myself.

When T broke up with me after Christmas break, I didn't know how to handle it. T was my first relationship, and I thought we would end up getting married one day.

I am so glad we didn't get married.

You helped me through it all even when I was unbelievably difficult to be around.

When I get hurt, I don't grieve. Instead, I rebel, and this usually results in me losing friends.

I'm so glad I didn't lose you. You knew I was hurting and that I just needed some time.

Getting over T was exceptionally difficult, especially since we had class together. Seeing my first love being happy without me stung worse than getting attacked by wasps.

I thought I would never get over T. That is until I started falling for you.

I don't remember how it happened. You went from being my best friend to my best friend I had the world's biggest crush on.

It started off small, but then it hit me like a truck.

Suddenly, Home Ec. became the only class I looked forward to. I started getting extra excited about early morning sessions and lunch.

I couldn't get you out of my head no matter how hard I tried to focus on other things.

Whenever I wasn't around you, all I could think about was how much I wished you were right there with me.

Whenever I was around you, I was a mess and a half.

I would get so frustrated with myself. When I thought of you as just a friend, conversation flowed like a calm river, but once I developed feelings for you, my stomach would fold over on itself like ocean waves during a storm.

I never told you any of this because I knew I would lose you. Eventually, I got over you, and our friendship went back to the way it was. I think it was for the best.

I wish we still talked to each other, but I know you're out there doing amazing things. I hope life brings you nothing but sunshine and happiness like it brought me when I had you in my life.

Love,

Sarah

P.S. Did you ever catch on when I wrote you that five-page "note" telling you how "thankful I was for our friendship?"

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To The Toxic Relationship I Was Afraid To Let Go Of

To my younger self... I'm sorry.
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As time goes on the question that echoes in my mind is: "why?" Why did I let someone who was so undeserving have my love, time, and affection?

We all like to think that we have what it takes to mend the damage someone carries, but the fact of the matter is we don't. Hurt people, hurt people – and it was only when I tried to heal a bruised heart mine became the one in trouble. When you're young, vulnerable and under someone's spell you don't realize that you shouldn't have to rip yourself apart to keep someone else whole. I was scared of losing someone I didn't really have and I thought it was better to have someone halfway than not at all.

The irony of it all is that I grew up in a healthy environment. I have two parents who love my sister, each other, and myself unconditionally. They practice the same values they preach, some of which being loyalty, forgiveness, and how important it is to love each other despite the flaws that consume us. Those values were engraved so deep in my heart and soul I couldn't recognize when enough was enough or when to pull back and that just because I displayed these traits didn't mean they would be reciprocated. It took me a while to figure out I had to draw the line of determination from desperation.

It was a bittersweet realization when I looked up from my treacherous journey only to see it led me to a dead end, but I have never felt so liberated.

There's no denying I came out of the storm a different person and most definitely with a different heart. There were so many important lessons learned, both good and bad but the one thing that's for certain is it took me getting lost to find myself. You don't fully understand what you deserve until you experience something you don't. I learned the importance of self-worth and how crucial it is to not beat yourself up over the "coulda, shoulda, woulda's." I learned that in order to love someone, you have to start with yourself.

I know I'm not the only one who experienced this and I know I'm not the only one who wanted to figure it out on my own terms, but what I do know is that no one deserves it. I'm in my twenties now and still unsure of the actual meaning of love, but I know with absolute certainty that what I felt then was not it. I have so much growing, learning, and experiencing to do – and I fully intend on taking only those who deserve to be with me on my journey. No more and no less.

Everyone's story is different but the one thing they have in common is that we get to decide whom we share our stories with and how they make us feel. You never know which page your story will end with, so make sure it would be one you would be happy with. I urge every single one of you to rid yourself of people who do more harm than good. Life isn't forever.

Cover Image Credit: Thought Catalog

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12 You Should Know About Your Significant Other After You've Been Dating 12 Months Or More

You have multiple food orders memorized.

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Dating someone for a year+ means that you are bound to know things you might not have known in the early months of the relationship. You also might act differently than you did at the beginning of the relationship.

Here are 12 things you know when you've been dating for over a year.

1. Clothing size, shoe size

This one you can probably be able to figure out early in the relationship. But, you start to keep in the back of your mind and think of that person when you see clothes or a pair of shoes they might like.

2. You can guess what they are going to text back

Especially if it is just a casual conversation about nothing in particular. You know their go-to responses.

3. You have multiple food orders memorized

Their food orders, of course.

4. You have that one TV show you can put on and neither of you will complain

And that is "The Office."

5. You don't get jealous

How could you have lasted in a relationship for over a year and not have any trust?

6. You know likes and dislikes

And can assume if they are going to like or dislike something.

7. You got a LONG Snapstreak

474 day streak over here.

8. Their successes make you just as happy as it makes them

Seeing your significant other do well and accomplish something great is just as rewarding as if you had done the same.

9. Your friends are his friends and his friends are your friends

And you can all hang out together.

10. You have your favorite restaurants

That we always end up going to.

11. You've met everyone in the family and extended family

And you feel like part of the family.

12. You know extremely personal things about each other

That you would not necessarily share with the public.

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