Being Immersed With Somebody Who Doesn't Feel The Same

Being Immersed With Somebody Who Doesn't Feel The Same

Love functions in weird ways, but it's okay, we've all been there.
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It is always when the darkness dons on me, that my mind wanders into little cracks that I thought I cut off forever. Love truly is a disgusting thing, it is a distraction from reality and a hypothetical, floating conception that leads to a stuffy little dimension ripped apart from the real world.

Not that I spend every hour consciously thinking “God, I love you so much”, but it’s a feeling. A feeling like I should evaporate whenever I hear their name leeching onto different corners of my brain.

And it’s the worst when you know they don’t feel the same- when they don’t care, or even better, are stuck up on somebody else. Feeling soft, curling up like bark on trees, I tell myself, “okay you need to stop. god, just look at yourself. you can’t even eat properly or study or hold a conversation without their dumb name popping up in your head a million times”.

And I know we have our own lives, spiral in our orbits and get sleepy-eyed to different sunsets. You’re seeing red and orange and I'm watching the sun fall in pinks and magenta and light oranges and deep red. and sometimes I think about the shape of you and the swell of your ribs when you take a deep breath and then I get annoyed with myself.

A little quarter of my brain begs for me to shut up before it gets devoured by the less rational of my brain, that’s like: imagine watching the sunset with him? And the spaces around this word, his name, in my brain creates a paroxysm in my stomach.

But you know what? Sometimes you will lose a person to a winter of your own hands, maybe you’re too ashamed to bring it up and the mere thought of it holds poison.

You might spend a month with the attempt to forget about this person and it’ll yawn in you. Or you might tell them again and again and the world can either come together in light and desire and dream…or it may crash together sharply, but you’ll never know until you just say it.

Cover Image Credit: Didem Arslanoglu

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9 Ways To Get A Writer To Fall For You, Take Notes

The ultimate guide for that writer in your life.
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Writers are interesting people. When looking for a special person to have in their lives, there are certain qualities that stand out to them. The little things you do could mean a lot to a writer.

1. Text in complete sentences

While finishing each other's sentences would be a huge plus, all you really have to worry about is finishing your own. It doesn't have to be in MLA format or anything!

2. Use proper grammar

Knowing the correct their/there/they're and your/you're is super attractive to writers. And for most, it may actually be a deal-breaker.

3. Bring them coffee

Who knows when inspiration could strike. If it's late and they're awake writing, coffee will make them fall in love with you.

4. Read what they write

Tell them you want to read their content and let them know you like it. There is no better way to get to a writer's heart.

5. Don't judge them for what they're not doing so they can write

They don't want to go out because they have a deadline? Laundry is long overdue because they have an idea for an article? They haven't slept in three days writing something detrimental? It's all fine! Don't judge!

6. Don't tell them they're wasting their time

Whether they are writing for fun, because they want a career writing, or their career is writing, do not tell them they are wasting their time. It is obviously important to them and they are passionate about it, so let them enjoy themselves.

7. Leave them alone right before deadline

I'm sure the writer you're pursuing loves having your attention... maybe just not the day before or of a deadline. They get stressed and you probably don't want to be near any of that anyway.

8. If they have anything published, share it with the entire world

There is no better way to show your support than to share a writer's content. It says, "I care about this person and I care about what they have to say." Their heart is guaranteed to be yours if you help their voice be heard.

9. Don't get overwhelmed by all the words they throw at you

Writers are just wordy people. They have a lot to say all the time. Don't take it as them being extra, embrace the fact that they want to tell you everything they're thinking.

Cover Image Credit: Lovianna Blackwell

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How My Mental Health Affects My Love Life

This is for the boy who told me I didn't have it put together.
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In light of Valentine's Day, I've been thinking about my own (nonexistent) love life. Now, when I say nonexistent, I mean it wholeheartedly. I'm the girl my guy friends turn to and ask "You got any single friends?" Without fail, my answer is "No, I am the single friend."

I come from a very conservative Christian background and many of the people I know got married fairly young. A decent number of my friends from church are either engaged, married, or expecting. It's not that you're expected to get married young, but oftentimes that's how it ends up happening. Men will return from their mission and be engaged or married within a year. So as a nineteen year old who has never been in a serious relationship, I feel like I'm falling behind.

I've been in exactly one (one month long) relationship in my life, which is what inspired me to write this article. When the boy in question was breaking up with me, he made a point of telling me that I "don't have everything put together." Needless to say, that did not go over well with me at all.

First of all, NO ONE has everything put together. We try to act like we do, but in reality we're all struggling in our own ways. It's what makes us human.

Second of all, who was he to tell me that I don't have everything put together? Granted, I don't have everything put together, but it still was not his place to make that judgement. I'm the only one who can decide if I have it "put together." This statement of his particularly set me off because I may still be struggling, but I'm doing significantly better than I was a year ago.

As someone with bipolar disorder, I have major reservations when it comes to dating. I tend to form emotional attachments rather quickly, which can sometimes get me into trouble. Like I said, I've only been in one official "relationship" before, but it's not the only time I've ever come close to dating someone. I've "talked to" (for lack of a better word, I hate that phrase) a few boys, only to be ghosted or led on. It's become something of a pattern in my life and let me tell you, it doesn't feel good.

When I get ghosted, or when a guy leads me on for a while only to tell me he's not interested or whatever his excuse is, I start doubting myself. What makes me so undatable? Am I not attractive/smart/funny enough? No, it's probably the bipolar disorder. That, plus my anxiety and constant need for reassurance.

I begin to worry that it's because I'm too needy, too "moody," too much to handle. I shut myself off to people because I assume that that's how things are going to end--with them finding some flaw, some deal breaker, and deciding that it's not worth the effort of being with me. I get so scared that my mental health will be a deal breaker. But why should that be the case?

Answer: it shouldn't. No one should have those doubts about themself, especially over things that can't necessarily be controlled. I can't control the fact that I have anxiety and bipolar disorder, just like people can't control their height or their eye color. It would be stupid not to date someone because they have blue eyes and you want someone with green eyes, would it not? So why miss out on dating an amazing person just because they struggle with their mental health?

Just because someone is struggling with something that you don't understand doesn't mean that they're not worth your time. Take the time to understand them, love them, and appreciate them, even if it seems like you're taking a risk. Who knows? It could be the best risk you'll ever take.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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